Theo Epstein says the only possible thing he can say about those Cubs rumors

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If you’re Theo Epstein, there is absolutely no winning when it comes to answering questions about his job right now.

Sure, the Cubs would love to have him. Anyone would.  But Epstein is running the Red Sox right now so if he even hints that he’s interested in the job, it’s going to be a monstrous distraction.  Likewise, if he shuts the door with a slam, saying unequivocally that he does not want has never wanted and will never want to be the Cubs GM and that anyone who suggests otherwise can take a flying eff at a rolling donut, then he’s just being rude. And, of course, if he really would like the job, he’s hurting himself.

So it’s really a timing problem. Because he’s Theo Epstein and because Theo Epstein rarely if ever says anything that fans flames, any question on the subject of the Cubs’ job now is going to lead to a non-answer which strongly suggests that he’s a Red Sox for life without actually saying that and leaving the hint of a possibility open that he could bolt if need be.  And he was asked that yesterday. And he gave exactly that sort of answer:

“I try to avoid commenting on things that are so speculative. I know there are a couple of articles which have appeared but I’m completely focused on the Red Sox of 2011 first and foremost and what potentially lies ahead for this club. We’re trying to get to the postseason and win the World Series and I spend all my time working with my staff to make this the organization we want it to be for now and in the future. That’s where my exclusive focus is.”

And of course the reporters kept asking, so he said “Something like that I can’t even contemplate it long enough to comment on it. I’m all Red Sox, all the time.”

So one takeaway from that could be “THEO DOESN’T DENY INTEREST IN CUBS JOB!” which I bet gets played up on talk radio today if it hasn’t already.

Another, more reasonable take would be to say “there’s really nothing to be gained by getting quotes from Theo Epstein on this subject before the Sox’ season is over.”

Mark Buehrle had “definitely no more than three” beers before saving Game 3 of the ’05 World Series

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David Ortiz is not the only Sox player who will see his number retired this week. In Chicago, retired White Sox starter Mark Buehrle will have his 56 retired as well.

He definitely earned it. He won 161 games in 12 seasons with the White Sox, defining what it meant to be a workhorse starter in the 21st century, tossing 200+ innings in every full season he pitched on the South Side. And, of course, he helped lead the White Sox to a World Series victory in 2005, starting the Chisox’ Game 2 victory, tossing seven innings.

He also got a save in that series. That came in Game 3, which went 14 innings, thus necessitating Buehrle’s services after Ozzie Guillen went through eight other pitchers. Buehrle only had to toss three pitches in a third of an inning to get that save, but he got it.

And, as he writes in The Players’ Tribune today, he did it with a slight handicap:

The thing a lot of people talk about with that one is this rumor that I drank a few beers before I got the save in our Game 3 victory.

There’s been some stuff that’s come out on that topic, but I feel like you all should really hear it straight from the horse’s mouth. So, here goes….

In short: Yeah, sure, O.K. fine, so I had a few. I can admit to that.

But you gotta let me explain.

He explains that he didn’t think he’d be pitching that night, which was a fair guess at the time. And that he got his drinking done pretty early, checking in with the coaches a lot. So, fine. But how many beers did he have?

And it was just like one or two beers . . .

. . . It was only like three beers….

Max.

Definitely no more than three, though.

I swear.

Mmhmm.

All of this, of course, makes one think about the whole Chicken and Beer incident in Boston. And how that became so overblown that it cost people their jobs and stuff. The only difference there is that (a) the guys drinking the beer were in no way coming into any games; and (b) the Red Sox lost. Change (b) and Josh Beckett and company become legends.

Anyway, congratulations on your honor, Mark. You earned it. Have a beer on us.

Red Sox claim Doug Fister off waivers

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SB Nation’s Chris Cotillo reports that the Red Sox claimed Doug Fister off release waivers from the Angels.

Fister, 33, opted out of his contract with the Angels the other day after posting allowing seven runs on 16 hits with five walks and 10 strikeouts in 15.2 innings at Triple-A Salt Lake City. He was presumably told that he would not be making it to the big club any time soon. With Boston’s pitching injuries, specifically to Eduardo Rodriguez, he may have a better shot of pitching in the majors for the Red Sox.