Obviously the Phillies content around here has been nuts lately. It’s been driven, of course, by the fact that so many Phillies fans have migrated here in the past few months. They’re active. They shoot me links or give me ideas for posts in their comments. And of course, knowing who’s reading, I’m more likely — quality of the content being equal — to link to something Phillies-related than I may be to link to something Rockies-related, for example. Gotta serve the customers.
But why are they here? What do they want? Sure, we’ve formed some rudimentary basis of communication with these hordes, but it’s mostly just the bare minimum required for us to communicate. “I like post.” “I no like post.” “Cliff Lee sexy.” “Ryan Howard good.” “You biased hater jealous of stuff that happened 30 years ago and you use that to heap scorn upon us.” That sort of thing.
But Jonny 5 — a Phillies reader who has been around these parts long before the recent infestation — has a theory. And it’s not a bad one:
I have a theory of why so many Phillies fans have ventured to HBT daily, like moths to a porch light. They need to be kicked around. Plain and simple. For generations, fans of Philly sports teams have been brutalized by the masses (rightfully so). We had to agree with the sucktitude of Philly sports. There was never a doubt. But now, now that Baseball, football, and Hockey in the city have made an about face they still need to get their abuse. Which comes aplenty here. It’s all just a theory though. An abuse syndrome of sorts…
It’s boring to agree with everyone about how good your team is. Some people can become addicted to a certain kind of friction, however. It used to come naturally from Philly sports outlets because there was so much to complain about. Now it’s all sunshine.
So if what I think Jonny is saying is true, I’m indispensable to you cheesesteak eaters. Deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me to give you hell. You need me to give you hell. You need me to help keep you miserable in the way you have become accustomed.