Jim Thome

The reactions to Jim Thome’s 600th are just as interesting as the feat itself

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I offered to my congratulations to Jim Thome on his 600th home run in the recaps this morning. In response, my Twitter friend Ross offered the following:

You say congrats to Thome but with your way [i.e. my not liking the DH]  he would have never got 600. This is why I like the DH, hitters keep hitting.

My response:

Hey, we can simultaneously (a) wish the world was different; but (b) appreciate the joys that result from the way it is.

To which Ross responded:

I think you inadvertently explained the popularity of Jersey Shore in a profound way.

Yikes. My apologies for providing intellectual cover for more bad TV.  I feel kinda dirty now.

But it’s OK, because this is all part of a greater “what we’re supposed to feel about Jim Thome’s 600th home run” conversation that has been brewing today.  On the one hand, we have a lot of the expected “Jim Thome is a great guy who is corn-fed and country strong and isn’t this all swell stuff.”  We also have some “man, I’m tired of this ‘Jim Thome is a great guy who is corn-fed and country strong and isn’t this all swell stuff'” stuff. The whole idea/backlash thing is pretty much what the internet is made for, so this isn’t unexpected.

And of course some are trying to put it in statistical context, which inevitably takes some of the magic away, which some of you will think is awful and some of you will like just fine.

At times like these — milestones, I mean — I’m more and more inclined to remember the beer and think more in terms of celebrations than assessments.  We’ve had the chance to assess Thome’s career and character for the past 20 years. When it’s time to start talking about his Hall of Fame case, we’ll have the chance to assess it objectively then too (though, as the link makes clear, we should remember the beer some then too).  But on the day after something happens, hey, good on the guy.

But not Ryan Howard. I’ll go after that guy until I draw my last breath and make a point to never celebrate his accomplishments no matter how lofty they are.*

*Note: may be an exaggeration

Carlos Ruiz leaves a goodbye note for the Phillies

CLEARWATER, FL - FEBRUARY 26:  Carlos Ruiz #51 of the Philadelphia Phillies poses for a portrait on February 26, 2016 at Bright House Field in Clearwater, Florida.  (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)
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And then there was one. One player from the 2008 World Series champs, that is. Ryan Howard likely isn’t going anywhere so he’ll be the last one to turn the lights off, but today Carlo Ruiz bid adieu to the Phillies following his trade to Los Angeles.

Lost in all of the emotions the Dodgers are reported to be feeling about A.J. Ellis leaving is the fact that Ruiz was one of the most beloved Phillies players ever, by both his teammates and their fans. Yesterday Roy Halladay penned a heartfelt goodbye to Ruiz, suggesting that he was every bit as essential to his and the Phillies’ success as Ellis has been to Clayton Kershaw (and in pure baseball production, obviously, quite more).

Today Chooch left a message for his now former teammates:

A far-fetched sounding drug test scam

NES TSIONA, ISRAEL - JANUARY 22:  A laboratory technician checks human blood samples before placing the glass tubes on an automated testing line at the Maccabi Health Services HMO central laboratory January 22, 2006 in Nes Tsiona which is located in central Israel. The laboratory, which operates a fully automated system complete with advanced robotics, can test more than 50,000 blood samples a day. The lab is considered one of the most modern of its kind in the western world.  (Photo by David Silverman/Getty Images)
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Kevin Draper at Deadspin is passing along a story — and that’s not me editorializing; he’s admitting that it’s unconfirmed gossip at the moment — about a major league player paying a teammate $2.5 million to take the fall for him on a drug test. The story came via a tip from someone who, apparently, had a conversation about the drug test scam with a college baseball player who knew the players allegedly involved in the scam.

Here is how the conversation was recounted:

College Baseball Player: [MLB player’s star teammate] paid him to take his blood test. $2.5 million dollars.

Bar Patron: How does that even work?

College Baseball Player: [MLB player] and [MLB player’s star teammate] were getting tested the same day. They traded samples.

Deadspin says that the story is “probably bulls**t” but that some preliminary investigating they’ve done doesn’t disprove it and, to some extent corroborates it. How it’s been supported or not is left unclear and Deadspin couches all of this in a request for more information if anyone has any. Which, OK, fine.

I’ll offer that, on the surface, this seems like a bit more than mere “bulls**t.” It sounds structurally impossible. If it’s a blood test for HGH as the excerpt suggests, the samples are tested back in the lab to make sure they match up with previous samples. Meaning: the lab processing the sample knows if it’s your blood or not. If it’s a urine test, as Deadspin thinks it may have been, I’m not sure how samples could be switched given that urine tests are directly observed by testing officials. Yes, they watch you pee. They’d likely prevent you from peeing right next to your bro teammate, but even if you did, they’d see you exchange little plastic containers of urine with him.

I’m not going to say that this is 100% bull because we can’t really know for sure, but the scenario as described sounds highly unlikely, approaching the impossible. If someone had a story about bribing a sample taker with $2.5 million well, hey, maybe we’re getting somewhere, because that would get you over some procedural hurdles. For now, though, this all sounds like someone passing along a tall tale.

If it is true? Hoo boy, that’d be fun. At least for people like me who write about this stuff.