“Shutdown centerfielder”? Really?

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Look, I know everyone who isn’t me has their juices flowing this week because football — the handsome yet drunken and occasionally abusive boyfriend of professional sports — is back and that you’re all gonna try hard to make it work this time. And I’m happy for all of you, I really am.  But could you do me one small favor and not import football terms into baseball in honor of its return?  This is what got me, from the Twitter feed of Jon Heyman:

hearing [the Giants] are showing strong interest in bj upton. hes “shutdown cf” who fits their big park.

I totally understand what he’s getting at here. And I suppose that clarity of intent the only real rule when it comes to coining new terms.  But please, let me have this Jon. Let me have a space in baseball where football does not intrude. More broadly, let us remember that, when it comes to the eight position players on the field, describing a guy in a single-dimension does not work as well as doing so for a football player, where specialization is the order of the day rather than the exception.

Anyway, my sanity needs this very badly. Thank you for your consideration in this regard.

Umpire ejects Blue Jays manager, pitcher and catcher in the space of a minute

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We have an Ump Show in Toronto.

Umpire Will Little ejected Blue Jays pitcher Marcus Stroman and catcher Russell Martin on the same play in today’s A’s-Jays game after they took issue with a called ball. Blue Jays manager John Gibbons had been ejected just two pitches earlier. As the above photo shows, Martin took issue with Little’s strike zone earlier in the game when he was batting.

Stroman had issued six walks before his ejection and both he and the Blue Jays bench were unhappy with Little’s strike zone all afternoon. Stroman’s unhappiness, however, did not appear to be super demonstrative. He did not visibly show up Little or get into an argument with him. If anything, he seemed to be just muttering to himself which should not be a problem.

Little felt otherwise, however — acting as if his honor was being questioned or something — and tossed him. Stroman then charged toward Little, which is not a thing you see everyday. He’ll probably get a fine or a suspension for that, but really, this was a B.S. ejection, and the fact that Little ran both the pitcher and the catcher moments after running the manager compounds the B.S. Apparently Little’s ego is worth substantially impacting a team’s ability to compete in a game.

Here is the final walk, issued to A’s catcher Bruce Maxwell, followed by Stroman’s charge.

The Nationals hit five home runs in the third inning against the Brewers

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How’s your day going? Pretty good? Mine too, thanks.

Don’t ask Milwaukee Brewers’ pitcher Michael Blazek that, however. His day has been pretty bad. Why? Because he gave up six homers to the Washington Nationals in two and a third innings. Five of those came in the bottom of the third, four from consecutive batters. The breakdown:

First inning

  • Bryce Harper hit a two-run shot to right. No other damage.

Second inning

  • Blazek retired the side in order. Yay!

Third inning

That made it 8-0 and ended Blazek’s day. Wily Peralta came in and has since given up an RBI double to Jose Lobaton, making it 9-0. As I write this, the third inning just came to an end. Mercifully.

So, take heart. Even if you are having a bad day, it’s probably not as bad as poor Michael Blazek

UPDATE: Harper doubled in a run and Bryce Harper hit a two-run shot in the fourth to make it 12-0. Someone needs to put a stop to this before someone gets killed.

UPDATE: Now Jose Loboton has homered. This is madness. And it’s something to watch. The Nats now have eight homers: