With no fans to fill seats, Marlins close upper deck

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After a good start the Marlins have plummeted to last place in the NL East at 43-48 and rank dead last among MLB teams in attendance with 17,101 per game.

And that’s tickets sold, which as I learned while attending games at Dodger Stadium a couple times last week can be incredibly misleading.

With no fans to fill the seats the Marlins have decided to simply close off the entire upper deck in Sun Life Stadium, with spokesman P.J. Loyello telling Clark Spencer of the Miami Herald that “it was an operational decision” and “we don’t sell a whole lot of upper deck seats.”

This way the Marlins won’t have to actually hire ushers or security officers or anyone else to watch over the empty sections and the few fans who have upper deck season tickets will be “upgraded” to better seats, which they were probably already doing on their own unofficially each game.

I realize the Marlins closing off entire sections of their ballpark because no one sits there is prime joke material, but they’re actually not the first team to do so. Back when the Twins were still in the Metrodome they covered the worst seats in right field with a giant white (and eventually brownish-white from dirt) sheet that formed a makeshift tent over the empty seats and also had pictures of the players with their numbers retired. And there are other examples too.

Dodger Stadium might have followed suit, except the team couldn’t afford the white sheet. Rimshot?

The Red Sox sign Jhonny Peralta

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The Red Sox have signed third baseman Jhonny Peralta to a minor-league deal. He’ll report to Pawtucket.

Peralta, 35, hit a paltry .204/.259/.204 in 58 plate appearances for the Cardinals this year. But with Pablo Sandoval on the disabled list — and ineffective when he hasn’t been — the Sox could use some infield depth.

This is the second former Tiger that former Tigers GM Dave Dombrowski has picked up today, after signing Doug Fister. No word if he’s kicking the tires on Andy Dirks or Brennan Boesch.

Royals Designate Chris Young for assignment

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The Kansas City Royals have designated Chris Young for assignment. The move clears a spot on the 40-man roster for the addition of Neftali Feliz, who the Royals picked up yesterday.

Young was an excellent swingman for the Royals World Series-winning 2015 team, but he’s been terrible since then, posting a 6.52 ERA since the beginning of 2016. This year he’s got a 7.50 ERA in 14 games, two of which came as a starter. He has a ghastly 2.033 WHIP. He’s not foolin’ anyone out there.