Arizona Diamondbacks v Florida Marlins

With no fans to fill seats, Marlins close upper deck

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After a good start the Marlins have plummeted to last place in the NL East at 43-48 and rank dead last among MLB teams in attendance with 17,101 per game.

And that’s tickets sold, which as I learned while attending games at Dodger Stadium a couple times last week can be incredibly misleading.

With no fans to fill the seats the Marlins have decided to simply close off the entire upper deck in Sun Life Stadium, with spokesman P.J. Loyello telling Clark Spencer of the Miami Herald that “it was an operational decision” and “we don’t sell a whole lot of upper deck seats.”

This way the Marlins won’t have to actually hire ushers or security officers or anyone else to watch over the empty sections and the few fans who have upper deck season tickets will be “upgraded” to better seats, which they were probably already doing on their own unofficially each game.

I realize the Marlins closing off entire sections of their ballpark because no one sits there is prime joke material, but they’re actually not the first team to do so. Back when the Twins were still in the Metrodome they covered the worst seats in right field with a giant white (and eventually brownish-white from dirt) sheet that formed a makeshift tent over the empty seats and also had pictures of the players with their numbers retired. And there are other examples too.

Dodger Stadium might have followed suit, except the team couldn’t afford the white sheet. Rimshot?

Keith Law: The Braves have the best farm system. Who has the worst?

PHOENIX, AZ - APRIL 06:  General manager Dave Stewart of the Arizona Diamondbacks laughs on the field before the Opening Day MLB game against the San Francisco Giants at Chase Field on April 6, 2015 in Phoenix, Arizona.  (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
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Why is this man smiling? Man, I wouldn’t be smiling if I read what I just read.

This is the week when ESPN’s Keith Law releases his prospect and farm system rankings. He kicks off his content this week with a top-to-bottom ranking of all 30 farm systems. As a rule he limits his analysis to players who are currently in the minors and who have not yet exhausted their rookie of the year eligibility.

For the second straight year, Law ranks the Braves as the best system in baseball. Number two — making a big leap from last year’s number 13 ranking – is the New York Yankees. Dead last: the Arizona Diamondbacks, which Law says “Dave Stewart ritually disemboweled” over the past two years. That’s gotta hurt.

If you want to know the reasons and the rankings of everyone in between you’ll have to get an ESPN Insider subscription. Sorry, I know everyone hates to pay for content on the Internet, but Keith and others who do this kind of work put a lot of damn work into it and this is what pays their bills. I typically don’t like to pay for content myself, but I do pay for an ESPN Insider subscription. It’s worth it for Law’s work alone.

The Blue Jays will . . . not be blue some days next year

blue jays logo
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The Toronto Blue Jays, like a lot of teams, will wear an alternate jersey next year. It’ll be for Sunday home games. They call it their “Canadiana,” uniforms. Which, hey, let’s hear it for national pride.

(question to Canada: my grandmother and my three of my four maternal great-grandparents were Canadian. Does that give me any rights to emigrate? You know, just in case? No reason for asking that today. Just curious!).

Anyway, these are the uniforms:

More like RED Jays, am I right?

OK, I am not going to leave this country. I’m going to stay here and fight for what’s right: a Major League Baseball-wide ban on all red alternate jerseys for anyone except the Cincinnati Reds, who make theirs work somehow. All of the rest of them look terrible.

Oh, Canada indeed.