Roger Clemens

Jury selection in Clemens case drags along, has its moments of entertainment


We’re three days into jury selection in the Roger Clemens perjury case and they still don’t have 12 people in the box. Like I said last week: it happens. It can be slow if everyone is being super thorough, and that appears to be the case here.

But hey, it’s not our meter running on Rusty Hardin’s legal fees, and the prosecutors who are being paid by our taxes are on salary, so no need for us to fret about it. Besides, there has been some great fun in the jury selection process that we wouldn’t have had if they did it like your run of the mill armed robbery case and sat the panel quickly. Fun like this:

One woman who made it through to the next round is a former attorney turned yoga instructor who said she saw some of Clemens’ congressional testimony and thought ”he seemed sincere.” The judge asked her, ””Have you ever heard about performance enhancing drugs in yoga?” She said no, ”we tend to be vegetarians.” But she thinks that some drugs should be legal and U.S. drug laws ”are a bit heavy-handed.”

Another potential juror, a lawyer for the Federal Communications Commission, said she does not watch sports on television and doesn’t even know how to turn on the TV at home. She said her husband told her it looked like she was being called for the Clemens jury and she got him confused with all-star Pittsburgh Pirates right fielder Roberto Clemente, who she apparently didn’t realize died in 1972

Another woman praised Michael Vick and said “I thought he was done wrong.”  Seriously.

I’m guessing that the prosecutors kept her and the yoga lady off the jury. Unclear how the no-TV/Roberto Clemente woman cuts. I’d probably not want her on any jury I had to persuade of anything. Without decades of TV softening her brain, she may not be as malleable as others.

Oh, and given that she works for the FCC — the people who regulate television content — and that she doesn’t watch TV should probably tell you something, folks. And I’ll just come out and say it: all non-sports television content is designed to destroy and control your lives.  Except the stuff on NBC, that is. No problems there, I can assure you.

(thanks to Kiwicricket for the heads up)

Kyle Schwarber is on a private plane en route to Cleveland

PHOENIX, AZ - APRIL 07:  Kyle Schwarber #12 of the Chicago Cubs bats against the Arizona Diamondbacks during the MLB game at Chase Field on April 7, 2016 in Phoenix, Arizona.  (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
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This is happening, people.

Earlier we heard Joe Maddon being non-committal about Kyle Schwarber joining the Cubs for the World Series. Now it seems pretty clear that the Cubs are committal indeed: Jon Morosi reports that Schwarber is en route to Cleveland from Arizona on a private jet and that he’s expected to DH in Game 1 tomorrow night.

Schwarber hasn’t played in a game that counted since April 7. His potent bat is could be a windfall for a Cubs team that didn’t have a game-changing option at DH in the American League park.

Schwarber lost the whole season due to a knee injury, but he hit .246/.355/.487 with 16 homers and 43 RBI in 69 games as a rookie in 2015. His big coming out party was in the playoffs, however, when he hit three homers in five postseason games while going 7-for-13 with two walks in five games.

Carlos Santana in left field? Sure, OK.

CLEVELAND, OH - OCTOBER 15:  Carlos Santana #41 of the Cleveland Indians celebrates after hitting a home run in the second inning against J.A. Happ #33 of the Toronto Blue Jays during game two of the American League Championship Series at Progressive Field on October 15, 2016 in Cleveland, Ohio.  (Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images)
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Paul Hoynes of the Cleveland Plain Dealer reports that Indians First Baseman/DH Carlos Santana shagged some flyballs in left field during the Indians’ workout today.

Sure, why not? Santana has played one game in the outfield in his major league career and that was over four years ago, but the Indians will have to play in Chicago without the DH, meaning either losing Santana’s bat or that of Mike Napoli.

It would be up to Terry Francona to decide if that happens, but ultimately I don’t think he’ll make it real and, rather, will just forget about it, because Santana’s defense out there would in no way be smooth.

I’m sorry. I’m sick today and I’m on a lot of cold medicine.