“It sucks having to rotate the tires on my Lamborghini”

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That was the very self-aware quote from Bill Baer of Crashburn Alley when he was called out on Twitter a few minutes ago for picking some serious nits in the otherworldly performance of Cliff lately.

Not that he’s at all wrong with anything in his post.  It’s easy to go rah-rah-Cliffy right now, especially if you’re a Phillies fan like Bill.  It takes a clear thinker to realize that, in all of these shutouts, there is something, well, if not exactly troubling, certainly curious about Cliff Lee’s performance. I won’t tell you what it is. Bill put a lot of work into that post — and will likely take a bunch of crap for pointing out as big a first world problem as “my team’s supremely dominant ace isn’t completely perfect” — so he deserves your page views.

But hey, we all have problems. This caviar I’ve been eating all morning is so filling. And my servants just don’t know how to get the right shine on my marble floors.

Red Sox manager John Farrell receives a one-game suspension

Fox
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Major League Baseball announced that Boston Red Sox manager John Farrell has received a one-game suspension and an undisclosed fine for his actions during an argument with third base umpire Bill Miller in the top of the seventh inning of the Sox’ game against the Angels on Saturday night at Fenway Park.

The argument was over a balk call on Fernando Abad, which brought in a run for the Angels. It wasn’t Miller’s call — home plate ump Ryan Blakney made the call — but Miller is the crew chief. Things got pretty animated as Farrell got face-to-face with Miller and the spittle flew:

Managers do not have the right to appeal a suspension, so Farrell will be sitting out tonight’s game against the Twins.

Alabama man arrested for stealing a Braves golf cart from SunTrust Park

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Last Tuesday night, the Braves hosted the San Francisco Giants at SunTrust Park. They lost 6-3. An Alabama man named Marcus Stephens almost came away a winner, however. At least if stealing a $4,500 golf cart that belongs to the Braves makes you a winner, which in some circles I suppose it would.

Stephens lost, however, when he crashed the cart into a metal pole, attempted to flee on foot and was apprehended by Cobb County Sheriff’s deputies. This all went down at 1:40AM Wednesday morning. The report doesn’t mention anything about alcohol being involved but I’ve read enough stories like this to make educated guesses about such things.

That being said, Stephens seems relatively composed in his mugshot:

I mean, yeah, the eyes look a bit red and puffy and the overall vibe he gives off is “I came to the game as part of the Sigma Nu reunion (Auburn University class of ’06, WAR DAMN EAGLE!),” but I expected much worse after reading the headline.

Anyway, dude is out on bail. Somewhere, someone is really super proud of him, I’m sure.