Ozzie downgrades Twins from piranhas to sardines

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Back in 2006, Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen said the Minnesota Twins were “piranhas.”

He meant it as a compliment, as in “man those Twins are feisty. They’re small and don’t look so threatening, but they will swarm and take you down!” Or something like that.

Now, in the year 2011, Ozzie is still dishing out compliments to the plucky Twins. That’s not surprising given that Minnesota has won 11 of its last 13 games, as well as six straight series against the White Sox.

But over time, his compliments seem to be getting a lot less, well, complimentary. What once were piranhas are now sardines:

“They are [bleeping] sardines. They ARE sardines. They look like a bunch of circus midgets out there. But they can play.”

Guillen went on to laud the work of Twins manager Ron Gardenhire for getting the most out of a team suffering numerous injuries. “When you’re missing Morneau, Mauer, Thome and Kubel, and you’re still winning games, you gotta give those guys credit.”

So there you have it. Ozzie still likes the Twins, but the piranhas have been downgraded to sardines.

And circus midgets.

Felix Hernandez dealing with “dead arm”

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Mariners starter Felix Hernandez is dealing with “dead arm” and will head back to Seattle to have his shoulder examined, Ryan Divish of the Seattle Times reports. Hernandez was reportedly visibly upset and left the clubhouse quickly, declining to speak to the media, Divish adds.

Hernandez wasn’t long for Tuesday’s game against the Tigers, as he lasted just two innings, yielding four runs on six hits and two walks with two strikeouts. The Mariners went on to lose 19-9. Hernandez is now carrying a 4.73 ERA over his first five starts.

Not much else can go wrong for the Mariners, who are now 8-13 in last place in the AL West. Mitch Haniger also suffered an oblique injury on Tuesday, joining what is becoming a lengthy list of dinged-up Mariners.

Video: Chris Coghlan dives home to beat the tag

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Blue Jays pinch-hitter Chris Coghlan found a creative way to beat the tag from Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina in the top of the seventh inning of Tuesday night’s game.

With the score tied 2-2, the Jays had a runner on first base and one out as Kevin Pillar faced reliever Matt Bowman. Pillar drove a 1-1 fastball to deep right field. Stephen Piscotty leaped in an attempt to make the catch, but the ball caromed off the wall and back towards the field. Coghlan, who was on first, made his way around third towards home. Piscotty threw home past the cutoff man and the ball reached Molina on several bounces. As Molina went low to apply the tag, Coghlan went high, leaping into the air and somersaulting into home plate to score the go-ahead run.

The Blue Jays would go on to score two in the inning, but the Cardinals answered with two of their own in the bottom half of the seventh. As of this writing, the score remains tied at four apiece.