Lesbian couple files discrimination complaint against Target Field security

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Look, if I have to see fat hairy Bob and his wife Betty up on the jumbotron when they do the kiss cam thing, I had better not hear that ballpark security is out on the concourses trying to keep a couple of nice ladies who are in love from kissing one another.  Wait, what? Oh, Minnesota …

Taylor Campione and Kelsi Culpepper — two lesbian women from Minneapolis — were recently scolded by a Target Field security guard for what they call a “brief kiss.”  After seeing the quick peck on the lips, the guard told the women that “we don’t play grab ass here” and that they must “adhere to the 10 Commandments” while at the stadium.

The guard has been reprimanded and apologies issued, but Campione and Culpepper are going to pursue a discrimination complaint with the Minnesota Department of Human Rights.

But you know what gets me more angry here than the whole homophobia angle?  The 10 Commandments comment. Not because it brings religion into the ballpark, but because the Twins themselves are already violating them.  Take the second commandment:

Thou shalt not make for yourself a carved image–any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.’

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a carved image of the likeness of something that — depending on what you think of him — is either in heaven or beneath the earth:

And I won’t even go in to the serial violations about keeping the Sabbath holy. Unless you count a 1pm start against the White Sox “holy.”  Which, frankly, it may be.

Royals sign Michael Saunders to a minor-league deal

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Free agent outfielder Michael Saunders has agreed to a minor-league contract with the Royals, the team announced Friday. While the move comes just two days after Saunders agreed to terms with the Pirates, he allegedly asked for his release after the club acquired outfielder Corey Dickerson in a multi-player swap with the Rays on Thursday.

After earning his first spot on an All-Star team in 2016, Saunders followed up a solid campaign with a career-worst performance in 2017. The 31-year-old split the season between the Phillies and Blue Jays’ camps, batting a combined .202/.256/.344 with six home runs and -0.7 fWAR in 234 plate appearances. Although he remained healthy throughout the year, with no sign of the lingering hamstring strain that has plagued him on and off since 2013, he wasn’t productive enough to merit a full-time role on either roster.

With Dickerson slated for a starting role in Pittsburgh, it was unlikely that Saunders would have commanded anything other than a backup role in 2018. Now, however, he’ll compete for playing time amid a slew of outfield options, including Alex Gordon, Cody Asche, Jorge Bonifacio, Tyler Collins and Paulo Orlando.