Awful humanity ruins Bernie Brewer promotion


Sometimes I hate people. People and their grubby-ape fascination with baubles, tchotchkes, gewgaws, trinkets and kitsch, replacing the old ape instincts of hording fruit stores or whatever the hell else we did when we weren’t beating each other senseless with animal bones in front of monoliths:

The Milwaukee Brewers were hoping for an enthusiastic response to their “Where’s Bernie?” promotional program. They weren’t expecting fan stakeouts, Internet auctions and isolated reports of lawn-ornament hoarding. Brewers spokesman Tyler Barnes said fan response to Tuesday morning’s scavenger hunt-style promotion was “staggering,” though team officials were disappointed that some fans didn’t play by the rules.

It didn’t take long before social networking websites were buzzing with complaints about some fans staking out workers who were stashing the statues well before sunrise, then snapping up armfuls of ornaments as soon as they were hidden.

Take one. And be happy for what it is, not for what you can get for it or for the fact that you and your stinkin’ paws can get so damn many.

This is why we can’t have nice things, people.

Johan Camargo will start season on disabled list

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Braves third baseman Johan Camargo will begin the regular season on the disabled list with a strained side and back, David O’Brien of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports. Camargo suffered the injury last week in a Grapefruit League game against the Blue Jays and hasn’t played since.

With Camargo out, Rio Ruiz will likely play third base in his place, as well Charlie Culberson and Danny Santana. O’Brien notes that had Camargo not been injured, the Braves likely would’ve left Ruiz off the roster in favor of an extra outfielder or third catcher.

Camargo had a solid rookie season for the Braves in 2017, batting .299/.331/.452 across 82 games. Ruiz did not fare as well, batting .193/.283/.307 in 53 games.