Oh my stars and garters, Andre Ethier flipped a photographer the bird

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Andre Ethier flipped the bird: During batting practice before Monday’s game against the Brewers, Ethier was snapped givin’ the finger to a photographer. And actually, the AP story uses the phrase “flipping  his middle fingers at a photographer,” so it may have been the rare but always impressive double-barrel salute. I like that kind of moxy. UPDATE: oh yeah, it was the double-deuce. WARNING: have your fainting couch handy if you click through to those pics.

The Dodgers and Major League Baseball don’t like that kind of moxy, however, so they made Ethier apologize yesterday. Though it wasn’t the most contrite apology. The L.A. Times runs his comments, and it really sounds like he’s more interested in complaining about the photographer than anything else.

Which is fine by me. I mean, sure, I suppose the photographer could retain Gloria Allred tomorrow and hold a press conference reenacting the incident, but I’m guessing he’s seen worse before.  If I were the Dodgers I’d prefer it if my players didn’t flip the bird to photographers, but given that my family — including my wife, my mom, my grandmother and everyone ever — has a habit of flipping off any other family member who ever tries to take a picture, I don’t have much room to talk.

Really, it’s uncanny. I have a picture somewhere of my great aunt Ruth flipping me the bird when she was 86 years old. Why? “Because you’re probably going to use that picture for my obituary.”  Well no, now that you shot me the bird, I can’t really do that, can I Ruchel?

Oh well. It was a lot funnier before digital cameras and bird-bombing a pic burnt up actual film.

Report: Glen Perkins will retire from baseball

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According to MLB.com’s Rhett Bollinger, Twins GM Thad Levine told 1390 Granite City Sports that reliever Glen Perkins will retire.

Perkins, 34, has battled shoulder injuries over the last two years, limiting him to a total of 7 2/3 innings between 2016-17. His decision doesn’t come as much of a surprise given the circumstances. The Twins declined his $6.5 million club option back in October, making him a free agent.

Across parts of 12 seasons, all with the Twins, Perkins compiled a 3.88 ERA with 120 saves and a 504/158 K/BB ratio in 624 1/3 innings. He ranked among baseball’s best closers from 2013-15, racking up 102 of those saves with a 3.08 ERA. The lefty made the American League All-Star team in each of those three seasons.