Tony La Russa employs political decoys

17 Comments

Strong leaders have used political decoys for centuries. While primarily a security tool/assassination defense, political decoys can be an effective means of political control as well.

Indeed, if prudently deployed, they can make the leader appear more robust and active than he otherwise is, showing up on battle lines, shaking his fist defiantly at those accursed rebel fighters in the morning and appearing at the unveiling of the 50-foot statue in his likeness at the central square of the capital city that same afternoon (with statue portraying the leader shaking his fist defiantly at those accursed rebel fighters).

It’s really a fascinating concept, even if it’s one that I was wholly unaware of until the highly underrated movie “Moon over Parador” was released in 1988.

In related news, Tony La Russa is a strong leader who, at present, is somewhat incapacitated. Taking a page from the book of Manuel Noriega, Raoul Cédras, Enver Hoxha, Fidel Castro, Saddam Hussein and Kevin Kline in the movie “Dave,” La Russa employed a decoy at the exchange of lineup cards before this afternoon’s Cubs-Cardinals game.

While the information is highly classified, our spies tell us that the decoy is actually Kyle Lohse in a wig.  Which, if it wasn’t evident from the pic to the upper right — a screencap posted to Twitter by @sportshuman — is clearly evident based on the tattoos in the pic below, posted to Twitter by our own Drew Sliva:

Get well soon, Dear Leader!

UPDATE:  And now video!

Video: Andrew Toles hammers grand slam in Cactus League win

Getty Images
2 Comments

Dodgers’ left fielder Andrew Toles crushed his first spring training home run on Saturday afternoon. With the bases loaded and a two-run deficit hanging over their heads in the fourth inning, Toles stepped up to the plate against Oakland right-hander Jesse Hahn and unloaded a grand slam on the second pitch he saw.

Third baseman Justin Turner was quick to follow up with a solo jack of his own, bringing the score to a comfortable 7-4 lead by the end of the fourth. Another three-run outburst in the fifth and an eighth-inning RBI single by Austin Barnes raised the final score to 11-6… which, coincidentally, was the same score the Reds used to defeat the Athletics’ second split-squad lineup on Saturday (albeit with a few more RBI walks than grand slams).

Toles, 24, is approaching his sophomore season with the Dodgers in 2017. He slashed .314/.365/.505 with three home runs and an .870 OPS in his first major league season in 2016 and is expected to platoon with the right-handed Franklin Gutierrez in left field this year.

David Price’s season debut could be pushed back to May

Getty Images
1 Comment

David Price showed “strength improvements” in his elbow on Saturday, but Red Sox’ manager John Farrell still doesn’t think the left-hander will be ready to throw by the start of the season — or for a few weeks afterward. According to ESPN’s Scott Lauber, the 31-year-old might not be ready to debut until May at the earliest.

Price hasn’t thrown off of a mound this spring after experiencing soreness in his left elbow on March 1. Surgery doesn’t appear to be necessary, but the Red Sox are playing it extra safe with their No. 3 starter in hopes that rest and rehabilitation will return him to full health sometime during the 2017 season. For now, Price has been restricted to short games of catch until he’s cleared to resume a more rigorous throwing program. Via MLB.com’s Ian Browne:

[There were] strength improvements to the point of putting the ball back in his hand a little more consistently,” said manager John Farrell. “Today’s the first step for that. A short game of catch. That’s what he’s going through. Not off a mound but just to get the arm moving with a ball in flight, and he will continue in this phase for a period of time. There’s no set distance and volume yet to the throws.

The lefty is coming off of a lackluster 2016 season, during which he delivered a 3.99 ERA, 2.0 BB/9 and 8.9 SO/9 over 230 innings for the Red Sox.