Tony La Russa employs political decoys

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Strong leaders have used political decoys for centuries. While primarily a security tool/assassination defense, political decoys can be an effective means of political control as well.

Indeed, if prudently deployed, they can make the leader appear more robust and active than he otherwise is, showing up on battle lines, shaking his fist defiantly at those accursed rebel fighters in the morning and appearing at the unveiling of the 50-foot statue in his likeness at the central square of the capital city that same afternoon (with statue portraying the leader shaking his fist defiantly at those accursed rebel fighters).

It’s really a fascinating concept, even if it’s one that I was wholly unaware of until the highly underrated movie “Moon over Parador” was released in 1988.

In related news, Tony La Russa is a strong leader who, at present, is somewhat incapacitated. Taking a page from the book of Manuel Noriega, Raoul Cédras, Enver Hoxha, Fidel Castro, Saddam Hussein and Kevin Kline in the movie “Dave,” La Russa employed a decoy at the exchange of lineup cards before this afternoon’s Cubs-Cardinals game.

While the information is highly classified, our spies tell us that the decoy is actually Kyle Lohse in a wig.  Which, if it wasn’t evident from the pic to the upper right — a screencap posted to Twitter by @sportshuman — is clearly evident based on the tattoos in the pic below, posted to Twitter by our own Drew Sliva:

Get well soon, Dear Leader!

UPDATE:  And now video!

Tyson Ross loses no-hitter with two outs in the eighth inning

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UPDATE, 11:58 PM ET: Ross lost the no-hit bid with one out remaining in the eighth inning. Christian Walker worked a 2-0 count against the right-hander, the doubled to center field to break up the bid and score Deven Marrero. The Padres are tied 1-1 in the bottom of the eighth.

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Padres right-hander Tyson Ross has pitched 7 1/3 innings of no-hit ball against the Diamondbacks in Friday’s game. He’s expended 124 pitches so far, the only blemish on his pitching line a handful of walks to Jarrod Dyson, Paul Goldschmidt and Nick Ahmed in the first, seventh and eighth innings, respectively.

Through just over seven innings, Ross whiffed 10 of 25 batters. He’s working with just one run of support: a mammoth 489-foot solo home run from Franchy Cordero in the third.

Should Ross complete the no-no, he’ll be the first pitcher to do so in the club’s 49-year history. The last major-league pitcher to record a no-hitter was Marlins right-hander Edinson Volquez, who held the Diamondbacks hitless last June.

We’ll keep you updated as the game progresses.