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Lenny Dykstra claims he has been tortured, abused and otherwise done wrong

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The New York Post, abdicating most of whatever residual claim it had to being a news outlet as opposed to an entertainment outlet, decided to give recently-indicted sad sack Lenny Dykstra a column today.  You will not be at all surprised to learn that it contains all of the usual cliches one hears from recently-indicted sad sacks who feel it necessary to go on a P.R. blitz:

  • The delusion that his current struggles are part of some divine plan rather than his own greed and mendacity;
  • The claim that the U.S. Attorney and the FBI are out to get him; and
  • The claim that his indictment is a wonderful thing because now it allows him to tell his story;

Maybe God does have plans for people. Yes, the U.S. Attorney and the FBI do sometimes go after people. Yes, sometimes the innocent truly are set free because they finally are given a voice in a court of law.  I just kind of doubt that any of these are the case with Lenny Dykstra.

Less humorously, Dykstra claims that he has been tortured — yes, he actually uses that term — and says that he was “physically and mentally assaulted” in police custody. Which is an insult to the very real victims of very real torture and police brutality here and elsewhere.  Torture victims don’t write op-eds in the New York Post joking about their exploits in Shea Stadium and parsing the nature of grand theft auto based on the fact that the car involved “was only a Ford Flex.”  If you were truly tortured, Dykstra, get a lawyer, register a complaint with the proper authorities and do your best to endure until your nightmare is over.  Don’t pound your chest in the pages of the Post.

All of that said, I actually agree with Dykstra on one point. It’s when he says “I did not get stupid overnight.”  No Lenny, you didn’t. Because that implies that there has been some sort of change in this particular metric, and of that I see no evidence whatsoever.

Carlos Gomez homered in his first at-bat as a Ranger

Carlos Gomez
AP Photo/Pat Sullivan
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Rangers outfielder Carlos Gomez made his debut with his new team on Thursday night after a brief stint with Triple-A Round Rock. He started in left field and was inserted into the number eight spot in the Rangers’ batting order.

The Rangers made two quick outs in the bottom of the second inning, with Adrian Beltre grounding out and Rougned Odor striking out. But the inning was kept alive as Jonathan Lucroy singled and advanced to second base on a wild pitch, and then Mitch Moreland walked to bring up Gomez.

Gomez took a first-pitch cutter from Josh Tomlin for a ball, then jumped on another cut fastball, drilling it for a no-doubt three-run home run into the seats in left field at Globe Life Park in Arlington (#29 out of 30 in Craig’s ballpark name rankings).

Here’s the video.

Video: Jarrod Dyson becomes the first in Marlins Park history to rob a home run

SURPRISE, AZ - FEBRUARY 25:  Jarrod Dyson #1 of the Kansas City Royals poses for a portrait during spring training photo day at Surprise Stadium on February 25, 2016 in Surprise, Arizona.  (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
Christian Petersen/Getty Images
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Marlins Park has been around since 2012, but coming into Thursday’s action, the ballpark hadn’t seen any player rob a home run. Royals outfielder Jarrod Dyson changed that in Thursday night’s series finale in Miami.

Christian Yelich smoked a 1-2 slider that Edinson Volquez left up in the zone, hitting what looked like a solo home run to straightaway center field. Dyson gave chase, timed his leap, and snagged the ball in spectacular fashion to save a run on Volquez’s behalf.

The Statcast numbers are pretty impressive:

Indeed, Dyson’s snag is the first home run robbery at Marlins Park, according to ESPN Stats & Info.