Carl Pavano loses to Royals, but defeats garbage can

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Francisco Liriano’s struggles are more extreme and have gotten more attention during the Twins’ awful first month, but Carl Pavano has been plenty terrible himself with a 5.84 ERA through six starts.

More worrisome than the bloated ERA is that Pavano’s strikeout rate continues to plummet, dropping from 7.2 strikeouts per nine innings in 2009 after the Twins acquired him at midseason to 4.8 per nine innings last year and now 4.1 per nine innings this season.

For some context, his rotation-mate Nick Blackburn’s career rate of 4.3 strikeouts per nine innings is dead last among all active MLB pitchers with 500 innings. Pavano, like Blackburn, doesn’t induce enough ground balls to thrive with that few missed bats, particularly with a shoddy defense behind them.

As a pitching staff the Twins have managed just 5.8 strikeouts per nine innings, which is dead last in MLB. Lots of contact plus sub par defense equals runs in bunches. And speaking of lots of contact … Pavano lost to the Royals yesterday, but at least he defeated a trash can in the dugout:

Someone stole the bat from the Ken Griffey, Jr. statue at Safeco Field

Stephen Brashear/Getty Images
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The Mariners unveiled a statue of Hall of Fame outfielder Ken Griffey, Jr. earlier this year at Safeco Field, featuring the slugger in his famous follow-through seen after each of his 630 career home runs. Chris Daniels of KING 5 News in Seattle reported on Tuesday evening that someone had stolen the bat from the statue.

Thankfully, the Seattle Police Department announced that the bat has been recovered and a suspect has been arrested. They expect to provide more details later. Daniels reports the Mariners have confirmed the news.

My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over.