The Question

People asked me questions on Twitter. So I shall answer them.

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As you may have seen on HBT Daily, I asked people on Twitter for questions they’d like to have answered. I got way more than the handful I answered on the video, however, and I hate to have them go to waste, so let’s clean out the inbox, shall we?  And remember, these are actual questions from actual readers. If they weren’t, David Letterman couldn’t wiggle those blue cards of his:

Q: Would you rather sit on the Supreme Court or run the Braves?

The Supreme Court. Because I’m too afraid to negotiate with Jason Heyward. He can’t be bargained with. Can’t be reasoned with …

Q: Who is you favorite Met?

Mookie Wilson.

Q: If you were commish for day and were tasked with creating competitive balance, what would you change?

I’d impose a more equitable share of local TV money, realign into two leagues with no divisions, impose a perfectly balanced schedule and have the top four (or six or whatever people agree on) make the playoffs. I don’t know if that would work, but it would please me.

Q: Macaroni or spaghetti? Burgers or hotdogs? Sex or baseball? Vanilla or chocolate? Marijuana or heroin? Superman or Batman?

Spaghetti, burgers, sex, chocolate, I’m a clean cut American man who gets high on life, and Batman.  Like there was any question about Batman.

Q: Jersey Shore, America? Really?

I know.

Q: Is this the worst thing written on Manny yet? It must be close.

It’s bad, but I’m waiting for Manny’s Hall of Fame eligibility to come up. I think we’ll be into “Manny committed war crimes” territory then.

Q: If you could have dinner with one famous cartoon character, who would it be?

Bugs Bunny when he was dressed up like the girl bunny. Wait. I said that in my out loud voice, didn’t I.

Q: Year the cubs win the WS? against who?

2015. Starlin Castro wins the MVP.  They beat the Royals. The networks vow to fix things going forward so no Midwest team ever reaches the World Series again.

Q: Can you tell me why an error can’t be charged on a sure double play that is missed?

As the old saying goes, “to ASSUME the double play makes an ASS out of U and the second baseman who got weak in the knees when the runner from first was barreling down on him when he made the throw.”

Q: Team the mets will get their first no-no against?

The Mars Marauders, following the expansion.

Q: More likely to be remembered forever: Buckner or Dent?

Buckner, because the F-word will be outlawed in the year 2124, thereby eliminating the device by which most people remember Dent’s name.

Q: Do you like your grits regular, creamy or al dente?

Regular. And I prefer home fries.

Q: Why would he kill the sheriff but leave the deputy unharmed?

Hey, the deputy never hated him. Actually helped him out in his garden.  Besides, it wasn’t totally planned. Reflexes got the best of him.

Q: What if god was one of us? Just a stranger on the bus…

You sayin’ God is just a stranger on the bus? A slob like one of us?  Them’s fightin’ words! And speaking of blasphemy:

Q: Is Sam Fuld the new Jesus?

No.  But I will say this much: Like Jesus, by the age of 33, Fuld will have moved on to a different career.

Q: What blogger can you totally dominate in the octagon?

Neyer.  I consider him my primary mentor in this business, and everyone knows that one day the student must rise up and do battle with his own sensei. But even as I stand over his lifeless form, I will proclaim that I am not his equal and demand that you bury him with honor. Then I shall walk into the distance to the sound of a lonely pan flute.

And … scene.

Braves sign former football player Sanders Commings

GLENDALE, AZ - AUGUST 15:  Cornerback Sanders Commings #26 of the Kansas City Chiefs on the sidelines during the pre-season NFL game against the Arizona Cardinals at the University of Phoenix Stadium on August 15, 2015 in Glendale, Arizona.  (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
Christian Petersen/Getty Images
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The Braves have signed former football player and current outfielder Sanders Commings, an Augusta, Georgia native, to a minor league contract, Ken Rosenthal of FOX Sports reports.

Commings, 26, was a defensive back who played for the University of Georgia before being selected by the Chiefs in the fifth round of the 2013 draft. He appeared in two games in the 2013 season.

Commings also played baseball for Westside High School and was selected by the Diamondbacks in the 37th round of the 2008 draft. He chose to attend the University of Georgia instead. When football didn’t pan out, Commings started training with Jerry Hairston, Jr. Hairston said he was “blown away” when he saw Commings hit for the first time.

Obviously, Commings’ path to success as a professional baseball player will be long, but it’s a no-risk flier for the Braves. The club has past experience with football players, including Deion Sanders and Brian Jordan.

The next task for the Braves will be to acquire Ryan Goins from the Blue Jays. That way, players will look at the lineup card each day to see if it’s Commings or Goins.

Justin Verlander: “I’d like to see the AL and NL have the same rules… I vote NL rules.”

SEATTLE, WA - AUGUST 10:  Starting pitcher Justin Verlander #35 of the Detroit Tigers pitches against the Seattle Mariners in the first inning at Safeco Field on August 10, 2016 in Seattle, Washington.  (Photo by Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images)
Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images
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On Thursday afternoon, Rays pitcher Chris Archer asked his Twitter followers, “Lots swirling around what needs to be changed about the game of baseball. What do y’all want to see changed, if anything, & why?”

Tigers ace Justin Verlander responded:

To that, Archer said:

For what it’s worth, Verlander hasn’t been much of a hitter. In 47 career plate appearances, he has three singles and no extra-base hits. And if the AL did get rid of the DH rule, the Tigers would have nowhere to put Victor Martinez. Verlander, though, would have an easier time pitching to opposing pitchers rather than their DH’s.