ozzie and jose canseco

Jose Canseco’s twin brother Ozzie tried to impersonate him at a “celebrity boxing” fight

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Jose Canseco failed to show up for a fight against Billy Padden in front of 400 paying customers Saturday at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Florida and instead sent his twin brother Ozzie Canseco, according to “Celebrity Boxing” promoter Damon Feldman.

An employee of “Celebrity Boxing” told Luis Sanchez of El Nuevo Herald that they discovered it was the Canseco with zero career homers rather than the Canseco with 462 career homers when Ozzie “took off his shirt and didn’t have Jose’s tattoos on the biceps that appear in our advertising.”

Jose was paid $10,000 for the fight. He received a wire transfer of $5,000 beforehand and then got a check for $5,000 at the event, which he (or Ozzie) refused and instead insisted be made out to “cash.” Once the attempted switch was discovered the person claiming to be Jose refused to return the money and then the actual Jose didn’t return phone calls seeking comment.

However, he did post a bunch of stuff related to the event on Twitter:

Be very careful with Damon feldman who runs celebrity boxing he will not pay you if you fight for him

Damon feldman will not fulfil his part of the bargain

let’s see who is smart enough to figure out what happened at the boxing match

is anyone out there smart enough to figure it out or are you all a bunch of hateful morons

the truth is always hidden from the public to create villains and heroes which 1 are you truly

seek the truth before reacting

just remember the media is write 20 percent of 50 percent of the time

how can you haters being so ignorant it’s amazing

I am still waiting for an intelligent scenario

First of all, to misspell “right” as “write” in a criticism of the media is either brilliant or the dumbest thing of all time. Beyond that, his daring people to “figure out what happened at the boxing match” and later writing “I am still waiting for an intelligent scenario” makes me think Canseco is just hoping someone suggests a scenario so good that he can actually use it as an excuse.

Also, this whole thing reads like a super depressing, down on your luck version of all the kids movies where identical twins switch places with each other at school one day and the teachers never notice a thing. In this version one twin is being paid $10,000 to get beat up in front of 400 people and the other twin is willing to get beat up in his place for what is presumably less than the full $10,000. Oh, and the whole thing falls apart over tattoos, which is maybe the most fitting aspect of the entire story.

I don’t say as much crazy stuff as Canseco, but you can follow me on Twitter too. And you can be sure my twin brother isn’t the one writing the tweets.

Report: Rockies want a “front-of-rotation-type pitcher” through trade

CHICAGO, IL - SEPTEMBER 29:  Chris Archer #22 of the Tampa Bay Rays pitches against the Chicago White Sox during the first inning at U.S. Cellular Field on September 29, 2016 in Chicago, Illinois.  (Photo by Jon Durr/Getty Images)
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The Rockies are looking for a “front-of-rotation-type pitcher,” per Jeff Passan of Yahoo Sports. He notes that the club is also in on free agent slugger Mark Trumbo.

Starting pitching has not been the Rockies’ strong suit in recent years. The club had baseball’s fifth-worst rotation ERA in baseball this past season at 4.79. It’s tough to entice big-name free agent pitchers to pitch given how their stats are adversely affected by the hitter-friendly nature of Coors Field. Trading would be one way around that.

Though Chris Sale is off the board, the Rockies could still try to pry Chris Archer from the Rays or Jose Quintana from the White Sox.

As presently constructed, the Rockies’ rotation includes Chad Bettis, Tyler Chatwood, Jon Gray, Tyler Anderson, and German Marquez.

Matt Holliday’s contract with Yankees allows him to block a trade to one team

ANAHEIM, CA - MAY 10:  Matt Holliday #7 of the St. Louis Cardinals follows through on a swing during a baseball game between the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and the St. Louis Cardinals at Angel Stadium of Anaheim on May 10, 2016 in Anaheim, California.  The St. Louis Cardinals defeated the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim 8-1.  (Photo by Sean M. Haffey/Getty Images)
Sean M. Haffey/Getty Images
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SB Nation’s Chris Cotillo passes along an interesting piece of information. New Yankees OF/DH Matt Holliday has a no-trade clause in his contract that allows him to block a trade to exactly one team: the Athletics.

Holliday was briefly a member of the A’s back in 2009. He had a decent two months in Oakland, so it isn’t as if he feels he couldn’t produce there. However, the A’s do play their home games at Oakland Alameda Coliseum, which is the fifth-oldest stadium in baseball, having opened in 1966. You may recall that the Coliseum has had some issues recently. Three years ago, the coaches’ bathroom overflowed with sewage and sewage also came out of faucets. Earlier this year, there were more plumbing issues as the Yankees’ clubhouse toilet was backed up and water overflowed into the dugout. It’s understandable why Holliday might not want to play half his games there.