Jose Canseco’s twin brother Ozzie tried to impersonate him at a “celebrity boxing” fight

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Jose Canseco failed to show up for a fight against Billy Padden in front of 400 paying customers Saturday at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Florida and instead sent his twin brother Ozzie Canseco, according to “Celebrity Boxing” promoter Damon Feldman.

An employee of “Celebrity Boxing” told Luis Sanchez of El Nuevo Herald that they discovered it was the Canseco with zero career homers rather than the Canseco with 462 career homers when Ozzie “took off his shirt and didn’t have Jose’s tattoos on the biceps that appear in our advertising.”

Jose was paid $10,000 for the fight. He received a wire transfer of $5,000 beforehand and then got a check for $5,000 at the event, which he (or Ozzie) refused and instead insisted be made out to “cash.” Once the attempted switch was discovered the person claiming to be Jose refused to return the money and then the actual Jose didn’t return phone calls seeking comment.

However, he did post a bunch of stuff related to the event on Twitter:

Be very careful with Damon feldman who runs celebrity boxing he will not pay you if you fight for him

Damon feldman will not fulfil his part of the bargain

let’s see who is smart enough to figure out what happened at the boxing match

is anyone out there smart enough to figure it out or are you all a bunch of hateful morons

the truth is always hidden from the public to create villains and heroes which 1 are you truly

seek the truth before reacting

just remember the media is write 20 percent of 50 percent of the time

how can you haters being so ignorant it’s amazing

I am still waiting for an intelligent scenario

First of all, to misspell “right” as “write” in a criticism of the media is either brilliant or the dumbest thing of all time. Beyond that, his daring people to “figure out what happened at the boxing match” and later writing “I am still waiting for an intelligent scenario” makes me think Canseco is just hoping someone suggests a scenario so good that he can actually use it as an excuse.

Also, this whole thing reads like a super depressing, down on your luck version of all the kids movies where identical twins switch places with each other at school one day and the teachers never notice a thing. In this version one twin is being paid $10,000 to get beat up in front of 400 people and the other twin is willing to get beat up in his place for what is presumably less than the full $10,000. Oh, and the whole thing falls apart over tattoos, which is maybe the most fitting aspect of the entire story.

I don’t say as much crazy stuff as Canseco, but you can follow me on Twitter too. And you can be sure my twin brother isn’t the one writing the tweets.

Report: Brewers sign Yovani Gallardo to a major league deal

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Free agent right-hander Yovani Gallardo is headed back to the Brewers on a major league deal, The Athletic’s Ken Rosenthal reports. No other terms have been reported yet, as the agreement is still pending a physical.

Gallardo, 31, completed a one-year run with the Mariners before getting his $13 million option declined by the team last month. He provided little value during his time in Seattle, pitching to a 5-10 record in 22 starts and putting up a 5.72 ERA, 4.1 BB/9 and 6.5 SO/9 in 130 2/3 innings as both a starter and reliever.

Still, assuming the veteran righty is on the cusp of a comeback, he may as well try for it with his original club. Gallardo last appeared for the Brewers from 2007 to 2014, racking up a cumulative 20.8 fWAR and peaking during the 2010 season, when he earned his first All-Star nomination and Silver Slugger award. This will be his ninth career season with the club.

Even with Gallardo aboard, the Brewers are expected to continue deepening their pitching stores for 2018. With team ace Jimmy Nelson still recovering from shoulder surgery, the club will enter the season with a projected rotation of Gallardo, Zach Davies, Chase Anderson and Junior Guerra, the latter of whom pitched just 70 1/3 innings in 2017 following a right calf strain and shin contusion. Another big name pitcher could help cement Milwaukee’s rotation and keep them competitive for another year, though they don’t appear to have made any concrete moves in that direction so far.