Newly acquired Boston Red Sox player Adrian Gonzalez smiles during a news conference at Fenway Park in Boston

You’ll be shocked to hear that Adrian Gonzalez and the Red Sox are making progress on a deal

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It’s cute how we’re still pretending that Theo Epstein — after getting a negotiating window — traded away multiple top prospects for Adrian Gonzalez without having  a deal in place:

An afternoon meeting between the Red Sox and the representatives of first baseman Adrian Gonzalez went “really well’’ yesterday, with all signs pointing toward a long-term deal being struck in a matter of weeks, according to John Boggs, one of Gonzalez’ agents.

I picture these “negotiations” going down like the disarmament talks at the end of “Spies Like Us.”  Solemn statements to the press about the progress being made but, once the doors to the conference room are closed, they’re all in their playing Risk and drinking cocktails while shapely Russian models sit on their lap while listening to “Soul Finger” by the Bar-Kays, the ink on the deal already dry.

What, you mean you didn’t see “Spies Like Us?”  Like you had anything better to do during Christmas break 1985 but to have your mom drive you to the Smoot Theater in Parkersburg, West Virgina to see it in a double feature with “Fletch,” rounding out Chevy Chase’s single best year in cinema?

OK, I may have said too much at this point.

Report: Mark Trumbo signs three-year, $37.5 million contract with Orioles

TORONTO, ON - OCTOBER 04:  Mark Trumbo #45 of the Baltimore Orioles runs the bases after hitting a two-run home run in the fourth inning against the Toronto Blue Jays during the American League Wild Card game at Rogers Centre on October 4, 2016 in Toronto, Canada.  (Photo by Vaughn Ridley/Getty Images)
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Update #2 (6:21 PM EST): Make that $37.5 million, per Heyman.

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Update (6:02 PM EST): The deal is for “around” $37 million with deferrals that lower the present-day value, per Jeff Passan of Yahoo Sports.

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Jon Heyman of FanRag Sports reports that free agent 1B/OF Mark Trumbo is close to a deal with the Orioles. He first reported that the two sides were back in touch earlier on Thursday afternoon. According to Ken Rosenthal of FOX Sports, the deal is expected to be for three years and under $40 million.

Trumbo’s market hasn’t developed as he expected. The slugger turned down the Orioles’ $17.2 million qualifying offer back in November. Then the Orioles reportedly made a four-year contract offer to him in December but pulled it off the table. Most recently, a report indicated that Trumbo lowered his expectations to a three-year deal in the $40-50 million range.

Trumbo, 31, led the majors with 47 homers for the Orioles this past season. He also hit a solid .256/.316/.433 with 108 RBI in 667 plate appearances. With Trumbo back in the fold and some slight offensive upgrades made, the Orioles figure to have a formidable offense in 2017.

Astros avoid arbitration with Mike Fiers

SEATTLE, WA - SEPTEMBER 17: Starting pitcher Mike Fiers #54 of the Houston Astros walks to the dugout after pitching an inning during a game against the Seattle Mariners at Safeco Field on September 17, 2016 in Seattle, Washington. The Astros won the game 2-1. (Photo by Stephen Brashear/Getty Images)
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The Astros avoided arbitration with pitcher Mike Fiers, agreeing on a $3.45 million salary for the 2017 season, per Jake Kaplan of the Houston Chronicle. The right-hander was in his first of three years of arbitration eligibility.

Fiers, 31, made 30 starts and one relief appearance for the Astros in 2016. He finished the year with a 4.48 ERA and a 134/42 K/BB ratio in 168 2/3 innings.

Fiers had a much better showing in 2015 as well as in limited action in 2014, so the Astros are hoping he rediscovers that effectiveness going forward. He’ll slot into the back of the starting rotation.