Chipper Jones believes the U.S. government whacked JFK


I’m about as likely to listen to Chipper Jones’ theories on the JFK assassination as I am to listen to Luke Scott’s theories about President Obama’s place of birth, but for those of you who demand more of your baseball players than mere athletic prowess, please know that Jones does, indeed, have a theory. At least a broad one, which he told to Dan Scholssberg of The Post Game:

“Having shot a hunting rifle all my life, I personally believe there was more than one shooter. The conspiracy behind it is what really intrigues me. I’m sure it went pretty high but I don’t know how high. Let’s just say somebody had to put it into motion—and it was somebody high-ranking in the U.S. government.”

Whatever you say, Chip. For my part I put more stock in James Ellroy’s theory as described in “American Tabloid.” It’s complicated, but let’s just say that you do not want to steal heroin from the mob as a way of taking revenge against them for failing to back you in your plan to assassinate Fidel Castro following your failure in the Bay of Pigs invasion. Because if you do, they’ll make you kill Jack the Haircut as payback, get me?

Or else it was Rand Corporation, in conjunction with the saucer people, under the supervision of the reverse vampires.  I could go either way with it.

Here are the lineups for NLCS Game 5

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It’s tied 2-2, but if you’re like most people you have feelings about who has an edge.

Maybe you’re a “momentum” person and you like the Cubs’ current vibe because they scored a bunch last night. Maybe you’re a “momentum is your next day’s starting pitcher” guy, and you prefer either Jon Lester or Kenta Maeda. Or maybe you’re playing chess with all of this and thinking a couple of moves ahead. As in “yes, the Cubs have an advantage tonight because Lester is better than Maeda, but if they DON’T win tonight they’re screwed because then they have to face Kershaw and Hill in Games 6 and 7.”

I dunno. I find all of that rather exhausting. Let’s just watch and see what happens. Here’s who will be doing the happening:


1. Dexter Fowler (S) CF
2. Kris Bryant (R) 3B
3. Anthony Rizzo (L) 1B
4. Ben Zobrist (S) LF
5. Javier Baez (R) 2B
6. Jason Heyward (L) RF
7. Addison Russell (R) SS
8. David Ross (R) C
9. Jon Lester (L) LHP


1. Kiké Hernández (R) 2B
2. Justin Turner (R) 3B
3. Corey Seager (L) SS
4. Carlos Ruiz (R) C
5. Howie Kendrick (R) LF
6. Adrian González (L) 1B
7. Yasiel Puig (R) RF
8. Joc Pederson (L) CF
9. Kenta Maeda (R) RHP


Trevor Bauer says his finger will be OK for the World Series

TORONTO, ON - OCTOBER 17:  Trevor Bauer #47 of the Cleveland Indians walks back to the dugout after being relieved due to his cut pinky finger in the first inning against the Toronto Blue Jays during game three of the American League Championship Series at Rogers Centre on October 17, 2016 in Toronto, Canada.  (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)
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Indians starter Trevor Bauer said he expects his sliced right pinkie to heal in time for the World Series.

Bauer, of course, is a drone hobbyist and hurt his finger while fixing a drone. By the time he’ll have to pitch again he will have had nine days since his last, bloody start in ALCS Game 3. Yesterday he said “I’ll be ready to pitch in the World Series whenever they need me. I’m doing everything I can and I’ll be back out there for sure.”

Bauer reportedly suggested that Indians trainers cauterize his finger on Monday. They declined. Which is something Bauer should probably thank them for.