Twins to give away souvenir glorifying blatant cheating awful underhanded play*

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I think approximately 500 people sent me links to the pic of this Kent Hrbek-Ron Gant bobblehead when it started making the rounds a couple of weeks ago.  I held off writing about it because it’s not good to blog angry, but now the Twins have officially announced it as a promotion, so what the heck:

The giveaway comes on the first day of what is being billed as “1991 World Series Champs Reunion Weekend,” marking the title-winning team’s 20th anniversary.

Hrbek, the former Twins first baseman, and Atlanta’s Gant got tangled up in a play during the World Series that led to the base runner being called out as he rounded first and was retreating back to the base. Unsettled all these years is whether Hrbek unfairly overpowered Gant on the play.

Unsettled? Unsettled?!! Close study of the footage of that play reveals that not only did Hrbek physically remove Gant from the bag in order to tag him out, but that he used close-melee weapons to do so. He then proceeded to punch him, kick him, sleep with is wife and then burn down Gant’s mother’s house.  Don’t try to Google that stuff though. The Twins Industrial Complex has had it scrubbed from most websites because that’s just how they roll.

Really, though, this is the worst part of it all:

Braves director of public relations Beth Marshall said in an e-mail to the Star Tribune that “we begrudgingly gave our approval [to the design] because, although it wasn’t a great moment in Braves history, it was for the Twins!”

You see? Their reach is nearly unlimited. They have successfully planted a mole within the Braves power structure working to bring it down from the inside.  Like most right-thinking people I’m normally against half-crazed purges of suspected traitors within respectable organizations, but in this case I will make an exception. Whatever is behind this conspiracy makes the Illuminati look like women’s auxiliary of the local Lions Club and its malevolence must be stopped.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to track down that picture I saw one time of Jack Morris doctoring Game 7 baseballs with Dapper Dan Pomade and I need to finish the elaborate diagram I’ve been working on that explains how Lonnie Smith owed Kirby Puckett millions in gambling debts, thereby leading to a certain base running “gaffe.”

 

*I consulted Gleeman on the headline. He preferred “blatant cheating fantastic underhanded play.*

Seattle Mariners to make a “full-court press” for Shohei Ohtani

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Mariners general manager Jerry Dipoto said in a team-sponsored podcast the other day that the M’s will make a “full-court press” for Shohei Ohtani. To that end, Dipoto said that the M’s would be willing to let the two-way star to pitch and to hit, which is something Ohtani is interested in doing in the United States. Not all clubs are likely to let him do this, with most likely seeing him as a starting pitcher only.

Ohtani, who is expected to be posted by his Japanese team, the Nippon Ham Fighters, possibly as early as today, can sign with anyone he wants. He is, however, subject to the international bonus pool caps, so the bids on him will be somewhat limited. The Texas Rangers and New York Yankees have the most money available: $3.535 million for the Rangers and $3.5 million for the Yankees. The Twins ($3.245 million), Pirates ($2.266 million), Marlins ($1.74 million) and Mariners ($1.57 million) are the only other teams with more than $1 million left. Twelve teams — including the Dodgers, Cubs, Cardinals and Astros — are limited to a maximum of $300,000, having met or exceeded their caps for this signing period already.

Ohtani, however, is said to be less motivated by money than he is by finding the right situation. While a lot of guys say that, the fact that Ohtani is coming over to the U.S. now, when his financial prospects are limited, as opposed to waiting for two years when he is not subject to the bonus caps and could sign for nine figures, suggests that he is telling the truth. As such, a team like the Mariners that is willing to allow him to hit and pitch could make up for the couple of million less they have in bonus money to spend.

As for how that might work logistically, Dipoto said that the team would be willing to play DH Nelson Cruz a few days in the outfield to accommodate Ohtani, allowing him to DH on the days he’s not pitching. That might be . . . interesting to see, but given how badly the Mariners could use a good starting pitcher, they have an incentive to be creative.

Ohtani, 23, suffered some injuries in 2017, limiting him to just five starts and 65 games as a hitter. In 2016, however, he hit .289/.356/.547 with 22 homers in 342 at-bats and went 11-3 with a 3.24 ERA, and a K/BB ratio of 146/51 in 133.1 innings as a starter.

Five clubs have more money to spend on Ohtani than the Mariners do. None of those teams are on the west coast, which some Asian players have said in the past they preferred due to faster travel back home. The Mariners, owned for a long time by a Japanese company which still retains a minority interest in the club, and long the home for high-profile Japanese players such as Ichiro and Hisashi Iwakuma, likely have a better media and marketing reach in Japan than most other teams as well, which might be a factor in his decision making process. Is all that enough to sway Ohtani?

We’ll find out over the next couple of weeks.