Jon Paul Morosi reports that Mark Grudzielanek has announced his retirement.
Over the course of 15 seasons Grudzielanek hit .289/.332/.393 for six teams. He finished with over 2000 hits and won the gold glove at 2B in 2006. Not a bad career. Not a bad career at all. In my book that puts him in the Hall of Damn Solid Major Leaguers. I presume he’ll be enshrined wearing a Dodgers cap based on longevity, considering that longevity is the cardinal achievement of Damn Solid Major Leaguers.
But while Grudzielanek’s career may not justify Hall of Fame debates, the off-the-field implications for his retirement are tremendous. Sports page editors all over America cheer this decision, certainly. Especially those in Kansas City who, in 2006, were driven to the brink of suicide when they were forced to spell both “Grudzielanek” and “Mientkiewicz” every single night for six months straight.
Which leads to a bit of trivia: did you know that Ctrl-C, the copy-and-paste function, was invented by a reporter for the Montreal Gazette who was the first major league beat writer tasked with typing Grudzielanek’s name when he broke into the majors with the Expos in 1995? It’s true!*
*May not be true.
Happy trails Mr. Grudzielanek.
People are the absolute worst sometimes. The latest example: someone stole one of Jose Fernandez’s high school jerseys, which had been displayed in his old high school’s dugout for a vigil last night.
That report comes from Anastasia Dawson of the Tampa Bay Times who covered the vigil at Alonso High School in Tampa yesterday. Her story of the vigil is here. Today she has been tweeting about the theft of the jersey. She spoke to Alonso High school’s principal who, in a bit of understatement, called the theft the “lowest of the low.”
The high school had one more Fernandez jersey remaining and has put it on display in the school. In the meantime, spread this story far and wide so that whatever vulture who stole it can’t sell it.
In an earlier post I made a joke about the Indians starting Dennis Martinez if forced to play a meaningless (for them) game on Monday against the Tigers. On Twitter, one of my followers, Ray Fink, asked a great question: If you had to hand the ball to a Hall of Fame-eligible pitcher to give you three innings, who would it be?
The Hall of Fame-eligible part gets rid of the recently-retired ringers, requiring a guy who has been off the scene for at least five years, ensuring that there’s a good bit of rust. I love questions like these.
My immediate answer was Mike Mussina. My thinking being that of all of the great pitchers fitting these parameters, he’s the most likely to have stayed in good shape. I mean, Greg Maddux probably still has the best pitching IQ on the planet, but he’s let himself go a bit, right? Mussina strikes me as a guy who still wakes up and does crunches and stuff.
If you extend it to December, however, you may get a better answer, because that’s when Tim Wakefield becomes eligible for the Hall. I realize a knuckleball requires practice to maintain the right touch and subtlety to the delivery, but it also requires the least raw physical effort. Jim Bouton went well more than five years without throwing his less-than-Wakefield-quality knuckler and was still able to make a comeback. I think Tim could be passable.
Then there’s Roger Clemens. I didn’t see his numbers for that National Baseball Congress tourney this summer and I realize he’s getting a bit thick around the middle, but I’m sure he can still bring it enough to not embarrass himself. Beyond the frosted tips, anyway.
So: who is your Space Cowboys-style reclamation project? Who is the old legend you dust off for one last job?