Spring training games start this weekend. I am virtually certain that by then we will no longer be hearing about who’s fat and who isn’t. But for now I do feel duty-bound to keep you apprised:
- Carlos Gonzalez gained 22 pounds this offseason, but don’t worry, it’s all muscle, baby. Seems he didn’t want to tire out like he did last season. In this story is the often-overlooked fact that players — most of them anyway — tend to lose a bunch of weight during the season. In-season conditioning is probably a bigger deal than we make of it;
- Not to be outdone, Daric Barton claims he gained 15 pounds of muscle and shed ten pounds of fat. Wait, that is being outdone. Still, good show Daric!
- Finally, Francisco Cordero shed ten pounds of fat. Barton and Gonzalez scoff.
In other news, I plan on taking my gym shoes and workout clothes with me when I leave on my trip to Arizona tomorrow. I will then place them in the closet of my hotel room, where they will sit for all nine days of my stay, unmolested by use. When I come home I will sink into a leather chair, exhale deeply, tell my wife that “I really need to start working out again,” and then I’ll take a sip of bourbon.
What, you want me to lie to you?