Greenies weren’t bad, OK? I mean, it’s not like kids were doing them. Probably.

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Hey, amphetamines were just pep pills! They just helped ballplayers get ready for the game! It’s not like steroids! It’s not like kids were taking them!

Oh, wait.

Wezen-ball strikes again, creating a video montage of a bunch of very special episodes of 1980s sitcoms in which young people got strung out on … greenies!

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Look, I’m prepared to admit that the 1980s sitcom world didn’t exactly have its finger on the pulse of what was troubling young kids, but apparently someone thought this was a major problem for our nation’s youth. And for all of the hathos and cheese, the core message of these things — that speed kills — was dead-on.

But sure, if Hall of Fame voters want to continue to pretend that steroids represents an unprecedented kind of evil while taking greenies was totally excusable, they may continue to do so.

I just hope that they know that they have Alex P. Keaton’s blood on their hands! Or something.

Report: Twins interested in Logan Morrison

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The Twins are reportedly interested in signing free agent first baseman Logan Morrison, according to a report from Mike Berardino of the St. Paul Pioneer Press. The two sides don’t appear to be working toward anything concrete at the moment, but Berardino adds that newly-signed pitcher Jake Odorizzi has been having conversations with the slugger to gauge his interest in a potential deal.

Morrison, 30, enjoyed a tremendous season with the Rays in 2017. He finished his two-year circuit with the team after slashing .246/.353/.516 with a career-best 38 home runs, .363 wOBA and 3.3 fWAR in 601 plate appearances. It was just the second time he’d managed to produce more than 20 home runs in a single season, and he finished the year tied for fifth-most dingers in the AL and eighth-most in the league.

The free agent slugger has been linked to a plethora of interested parties this offseason, including the Red Sox, Royals, Indians, Angels and Mets, but hasn’t drawn any substantial offers in an admittedly slow market. Should he reach an agreement with the Twins, Berardino notes that the club could use him to back up both Joe Mauer and Miguel Sano in a dual first base/DH role.