I’ll take “Things that may impact Andy Pettitte’s decision” for $100, Alex

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I have no idea what’s taking Andy Pettitte so long to decide if he’s retiring or not. You’d think it would be pretty simple: (a) pitch for Yankees; or (b) stay home in big house with family.  I mean, sure, if there was some option (c) that represented harrowing unknowns I could see the reason for the delay, but it’s not like he’s dealing with some strange and sinister Z-axis here.

Oh well, his life and his decision.  But that won’t stop us from speculating what might complicate it all for him. Bob Klapisch has an intriguing theory:

One theory circulating at Yankee Stadium is that Pettitte is spooked by none other than Roger Clemens. Knowing he’s going to be the government’s star witness this summer might be enough to force Pettitte into hiding – especially if Clemens decides he’s going to take his former buddy down with him.

The trial, which is set to begin in July, figures to be a doozy. Unless The Rocket has a change of heart (or tactics), he’s going to swear he never used HGH or steroids. Those who’ve testified otherwise, including Brian McNamee and Pettitte, will be cast as witnesses with bad memories or are just flat-out lying.

It would certainly be way harder to concentrate on the season if the trial actually starts on time and if Pettitte is in the middle of that firestorm.  And given that he has already implicated Clemens under oath before the grand jury and in closed Congressional sessions back in 2008, he will be antagonistic to Clemens and Clemens’ lawyers will go after him. Query: if you had to deal with that would you rather go home for a couple of days afterward or would you rather have to get on a plane to Boston and face the Sox?

Let’s see, what else could be holding up the decision?  Maybe it’s a stretch, but here’s one:

Dow Jones reports a ruptured storage tank spilled 15,000 gallons of beef fat Tuesday, closing the northern end of the Houston Ship Channel … “Luckily the stuff is easy to clean up,” Brahm said. “It solidifies at room temperature, so as soon as it hit the water it just kind of sat there.”

Pettitte’s hometown of Deer Park, Texas is right next to the Houston Ship Channel. I don’t know if I’d want to be next to a beef-fat-filled waterway in 95 degree weather. Maybe this will make Pettitte decide to spend one more summer in New York instead of back home.

What? You got a better theory?

Must-Click Link: Mets owners are cheap, unaccountable and unconcerned

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Marc Carig of Newsday took Mets owners Fred and Jeff Wilpon to the woodshed over the weekend. He, quite justifiably, lambasted them for their inexplicable frugality, their seeming indifference to wanting to put a winning team on the field and, above all else, their unwillingness to level with the fans or the press about the team’s plans or priorities.

Mets ownership is unaccountable, Carig argues, asking everything of fans and giving nothing in the way of a plan or even hope in return:

Mets fans ought to know where their money is going, because it’s clear that much of it isn’t ending up on the field . . . They never talk about money. Whether it’s arrogance or simply negligence, they have no problem asking fans to pony up the cash and never show the willingness to reciprocate.

And they’re not just failing to be forthcoming with the fans. Even the front office is in the dark about the direction of the team at any given time:

According to sources, the front office has only a fuzzy idea of what they actually have to spend in any given offseason. They’re often flying blind, forced to navigate the winter under the weight of an invisible salary cap. This is not the behavior of a franchise that wants to win.

Carig is not a hot take artist and is not usually one to rip a team or its ownership like this. As such, it should not be read as a columnist just looking to bash the Wilpons on a slow news day. To the contrary, this reads like something well-considered and a long time in the works. It has the added benefit of being 100% true and justified. The Mets have been run like a third rate operation for years. Even when the product on the field is good, fans have no confidence that ownership will do what it takes to maintain that success.

All that seems to matter to the Wilpons is the bottom line and everything flows from there. They may as well be making sewing machines or selling furniture.