Jose Canseco wants to show you his bat speed

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Jose Canseco has been more or less begging for another chance in baseball via Twitter all week, posting tweets such as “I can DH for any major league team and lead the league in home runs, just give me the chance” and “I will show everyone that steroids are completely overrated once I get the chance to play again.”

And those are the least-crazy ones.

At some point he started specifically mentioning new Mets general manager Sandy Alderson–who was the GM in Oakland back when Canseco starred for the A’s–and said he planned to send him a video to convince him a tryout was a good idea.

I will marry Mila Kunis, divorce her, marry Marisa Miller, and then cheat on her with Diora Baird before Alderson involves himself in Canseco’s life again, but that doesn’t mean we can’t look at the video anyway:

Canseco appears to be in good shape and is making solid contact against a pitching machine he claims is throwing 94 miles per hour, but here’s the thing: Even if he wasn’t “blackballed” from baseball for all the steroids stuff, a) he’s 46 years old, and b) he’s seemingly insane.

Barry Bonds couldn’t get another gig at age 43 coming off a 1.045 OPS season. Canseco is 46, last played in the majors in 2001, and was last seen hitting .170 in the independent Golden Baseball League five years ago.

Just to be safe, however, I’m going to make a video of myself for Mila, Marisa, and Diora to look at over the weekend. I may have to turn the pitching machine down to like 92 mph, though.

Video: Gift Ngoepe singles in his first major league at-bat

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Pirates infielder Gift Ngoepe, just called up from Triple-A Indianapolis, singled in his first major league at-bat on Wednesday evening against Cubs starter Jon Lester. It was a well-struck ground ball up the middle in the bottom of the fourth inning. Unfortunately for him, the Pirates could not bring him around to score.

Ngoepe, who was pinch-hitting, stayed in the game to play second base.

Shelby Miller getting third opinion on elbow from Dr. James Andrews

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Diamondbacks starter Shelby Miller was placed on the 10-day disabled list on Monday due to inflammation in his right elbow. He had a second opinion from Dr. Neal ElAttrache on Tuesday and is currently awaiting a third opinion from Dr. James Andrews, Craig Grialou of Arizona Sports reports. That he’s getting a third opinion seems to imply that Miller’s elbow issue is rather serious.

Miller, 26, hasn’t been able to catch a break since joining the Diamondbacks. Last year’s nightmarish season included a finger injury stemming from mechanical woes and a brief demotion to the minor leagues. In 20 starts in the majors last year, Miller posted an ugly 6.15 ERA. This year, his ERA is a mediocre 4.09 over four starts.

The Diamondbacks called up Zack Godley to take Miller’s spot in the rotation. There was some speculation that it would be Archie Bradley instead, but he’s been working out of the bullpen.