Redneck Thanksgiving

Giving Thanks: The National League West

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Our final installment. When this is done I’m gonna steal the pie that’s cooling in the kitchen, take it and my laptop to a locked room upstairs someplace and try to ride the rest of this holiday out with sloth and funny You Tube videos. It’s the only way to make it through, really.

What the NL West is thankful for:

San Francisco Giants: That bottles are not good conductors of electricity, thereby preventing them from being harmed by the lighting they managed to capture inside.

San Diego Padres: Low expectations. If it wasn’t for those in 2010, a lot more people would have been piling on them for that ten game losing streak that knocked them out of the playoffs. Instead, people ignored that and gave Bud Black a Manager of the Year Award. How awesome would it be if we were all graded on such a curve.

Colorado Rockies: Gonzalez, Tulowitzki and Jimenez, who showed that they can carry this team when healthy. And not tuckered out. And it should only be easier for them to do so without dead weight like Clint Barmes and Brad Hawpe hanging around.

Los Angeles Dodgers: Finding something to be thankful about here requires some long-range thinking, but really: look at what happened to a poorly-run, overly-indebted Texas Rangers team. It eventually got better. Maybe the same thing can happen here too. This McCourt drama could be like a purifying fire.  OK, that’s a bit much. How about Clayton Kershaw? He’s a nice young man.

Arizona Diamondbacks: Kevin Towers. His specialty is in fixing the kinds of problems the Diamondbacks have. Bad bullpens, poor fundamentals. It’s hard to imagine a better match between poor team and new executive than Towers and the Dbacks, and he could very well right this ship sooner rather than later.

That’s all I got, people. Maybe I won’t just steal the pie and hide upstairs. Maybe I’ll take some stuffing too.

Cespedes has 6 RBIs during Mets’ record 12-run inning vs SF

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NEW YORK — Yoenis Cespedes and the New York Mets broke loose for a team-record 12 runs in the third inning Friday night, rolling to their seventh straight victory with a 13-1 blowout of the San Francisco Giants.

Cespedes set a club mark with six RBIs in the inning, connecting for a two-run single off starter Jake Peavy (1-2) and a grand slam off reliever Mike Broadway that capped the outburst.

The early barrage made it an easy night for Steven Matz (3-1) in the opener of a three-game series between the last two NL champions. The left-hander tossed six shutout innings to win his third consecutive start.

Michael Conforto had an RBI double and a run-scoring single in the Mets third, which lasted 39 minutes, 47 seconds. He and Cespedes were two of the four players who scored twice. Asdrubal Cabrera greeted Broadway with a two-run double.

Marlins’ Conley pulled in 8th with no-hit bid, Brewers rally

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MILWAUKEE — Marlins lefty Adam Conley threw no-hit ball for 7 2/3 innings before being pulled by manager Don Mattingly after 116 pitches, and Miami’s bullpen wound up holding off the Milwaukee Brewers 6-3 Friday night.

Jonathan Lucroy blooped a single with one out in the ninth off reliever Jose Urena to break up the combo no-hit bid. The ball landed in right field just beyond the reach of diving second baseman Derek Dietrich.

Dietrich was playing in place of speedy Gold Glove winner Dee Gordon, who was suspended by Major League Baseball on Thursday night after a positive drug test.

The 25-year-old Conley (1-1) struck out seven and walked four. Urena replaced him.

The Brewers scored three times on four hits in the ninth. They loaded the bases before A.J. Ramos struck out Jonathan Villarfor his seventh save.

Earlier this month, Ross Stripling of the Dodgers threw no-hit ball for 7 1/3 innings against San Francisco in his major league debut and was taken out after 100 pitches.

Warren G just gave the worst performance of “Take me out the ballgame” ever

Warren G performs at the Warren G NYC Takeover album release party at the Highline Ballroom on Sunday, Aug. 9, 2015, in New York. (Photo by Andy Kropa/Invision/AP)
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It was just over 22 years ago that “Regulate” was released. Amazing track. One of the best. At least according to me and all of the other 40-something white dudes who liked to act cooler than we really were in the 90s, which is all of us.

A lot has happened since then. Nate Dogg died (RIP). Other major figures of west coast hip hop turned into moguls or family friendly movie stars. Everyone’s older. But part of me wonders if any of them are still on the cutting edge in some way or another, either as performers or artists or just as a matter of their own personal stance. Sometimes I wonder if any of them, like so many other artists who came before them, can have a career renaissance in their 40s and 50s.

Maybe. But not Warren G. Man, seriously not Warren G.

 

Here’s to better times:

The Diamondbacks read mean tweets about their new uniforms

Arizona Diamondbacks starting pitcher Shelby Miller throws in the first inning against the San Diego Padres in a baseball game Saturday, April 16, 2016, in San Diego. Miller left the game in the second inning after he injured his throwing hand when his follow through hit the mound. (AP Photo/Lenny Ignelzi)
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I’m on record as not being a big fan of the Diamondbacks’ many, many new uniforms. Not my cup of tea in either color or style, to be honest. I’ve even tweeted some negative things about them.

Thankfully, however, the Dbacks social media folks either didn’t see my tweets or didn’t take too much issue with them. They did with many other people’s, however, including some baseball writers I know. And then they read them and riffed on ’em.

Glad everyone has a sense of humor here.