Attention single people: Frank and Jamie McCourt are officially on the market

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I’ve been married for over 15 years, so I don’t know an eligible bachelor or bachelorette from a bag of hammers, but I feel obligated to tell all my single friends that Frank and Jamie McCourt are now officially divorced and are thus eligible for courtship and/or marriage proposals.  The money and assets are still a hot mess, but know this: if you were to elope with one of them this evening, you would not be abetting bigamy.

I’m trying to think of which of them would be the better catch. I mean, Frank has a habit of risking his family’s assets due to crazy leveraging, but at least he has that boyish face.  Jamie believes that  whack-job Rasputin figures can  “send positive energy over great distances” in an effort to help the baseball teams win games, but she stays in shape and has ambition.  Either of them may be able to get you good seats at Dodger Stadium next year, though that’s a bit up in the air.

Admit it: you’ve dated worse.

Who is the fastest sprinter in baseball?

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We’re not talking the 100 meters here. We’re talking practical baseball sprinting. That’s defined by the StatCast folks at MLB as “feet per second in a player’s fastest one-second window,” while sprinting for the purposes of, you know, winning a baseball game.

StatCast ranked all players who have at least 10 “max effort” runs this year. I won’t give away who is at the top of this list, but given that baseball’s speedsters tend to get a lot of press you will not be at all surprised. As for the bottom of the list, well, the Angels don’t pay Albert Pujols to run even when he’s not suffering from late career chronic foot problems, so they’ll probably let that one go. I will say, however, that I am amused that the third slowest dude in baseball is named “Jett,” however.

Lately people have noticed some odd things about home run distances on StatCast, suggesting that maybe their metrics are wacko. And, of course, their means of gauging this stuff is proprietary and opaque, so we have no way of knowing if their numbers are off the reservation or not. As such, take all of the StatCast stuff you see with a grain of salt.

That said, even if the feet-per-second stuff is wrong here, knowing that Smith is faster than Jones by a factor of X is still interesting.

Here are the final All-Star voting results before the close of balloting

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All-Star voting ends this Thursday night, just before midnight eastern time. The All-Star teams — at least how they’ll appear before the dozen or two substitutions we’ll get before the game — will be unveiled on Sunday at 7pm on ESPN, just before Sunday Night Baseball.

Which means you still have time to alter these standings, which now stand as the final update before things are set in, well, not stone, but at least some Play-Doh which has been left out of the can too long and is kinda hard to mess with.

NATIONAL LEAGUE

AMERICAN LEAGUE