Attention single people: Frank and Jamie McCourt are officially on the market

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I’ve been married for over 15 years, so I don’t know an eligible bachelor or bachelorette from a bag of hammers, but I feel obligated to tell all my single friends that Frank and Jamie McCourt are now officially divorced and are thus eligible for courtship and/or marriage proposals.  The money and assets are still a hot mess, but know this: if you were to elope with one of them this evening, you would not be abetting bigamy.

I’m trying to think of which of them would be the better catch. I mean, Frank has a habit of risking his family’s assets due to crazy leveraging, but at least he has that boyish face.  Jamie believes that  whack-job Rasputin figures can  “send positive energy over great distances” in an effort to help the baseball teams win games, but she stays in shape and has ambition.  Either of them may be able to get you good seats at Dodger Stadium next year, though that’s a bit up in the air.

Admit it: you’ve dated worse.

David DeJesus retires

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Outfielder David DeJesus announced his retirement from Major League Baseball on Twitter Wednesday afternoon. He’ll be joining CSN Chicago for Cubs coverage.

DeJesus, 37, spent 13 seasons in the big leagues from 2003-15 with the Royals, Athletics, Cubs, Nationals, Rays, and Angels. He hit a composite .275/.349/.512 with 99 home runs and 573 RBI across 5,916 plate appearances.

We wish the best of luck to DeJesus as he begins a new career in sports media.

Dallas Green: 1934-2017

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Former major league pitcher, manager, and front office executive Dallas Green has died at the age of 82, Jon Heyman of FanRag Sports reports.

Green pitched for the Phillies for the first five years of his career from 1960-64, then went to the Washington Sentators, the Mets, and back to the Phillies before retiring after the ’67 season. He managed the Phillies from 1979-81, leading them to the organization’s first ever championship in ’80. The Cubs hired Green after the 1981 season to serve as executive vice president and general manager. He quit after the ’87 season. Green briefly managed the Yankees in ’89, then took the helm of the Mets from ’93-96.

Green was a controversial figure during his managing and GM days as he was not afraid to say exactly what he was thinking. He got into many conflicts with his players and coaches, but some think it helped the Phillies in the World Series in 1980. The Phillies inducted him into their Wall of Fame in 2006.