A.J. Pierzynski’s mustache-growing isn’t going so well

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A.J. Pierzynski pledged not to shave his mustache this month as part of the “Movember” charity effort to raise money for “men’s health issues” like prostate and testicular cancer.

I applaud his efforts, particularly since he’s already raised more than $7,000 via donations from the likes of Darin Erstad and Doug Mientkiewicz, but … well, the actual mustache-growing isn’t going very well.

It took 23 days for Pierzynski’s to go from clean-shaven to “hey, I think you have some food stuck on your lip or something.”

As someone who gets a five o’clock shadow at around noon each day I can’t decide whether to mock Pierzynski or be jealous. I also haven’t shaved for 23 days–partly because of “Movember” but mostly because I’m just really, really lazy–and right now I look like a homeless man’s Brian Wilson. That’s my primary skill. His is playing baseball well enough to earn $35 million in career salary. So we’re basically even.

To track Pierzynski’s adventures in mustache-growing or donate to the worthy cause, click here.

Report: Glen Perkins will retire from baseball

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According to MLB.com’s Rhett Bollinger, Twins GM Thad Levine told 1390 Granite City Sports that reliever Glen Perkins will retire.

Perkins, 34, has battled shoulder injuries over the last two years, limiting him to a total of 7 2/3 innings between 2016-17. His decision doesn’t come as much of a surprise given the circumstances. The Twins declined his $6.5 million club option back in October, making him a free agent.

Across parts of 12 seasons, all with the Twins, Perkins compiled a 3.88 ERA with 120 saves and a 504/158 K/BB ratio in 624 1/3 innings. He ranked among baseball’s best closers from 2013-15, racking up 102 of those saves with a 3.08 ERA. The lefty made the American League All-Star team in each of those three seasons.