Coco Crisp is ‘looking for a live-in personal assistant (female)’

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Someone claiming to be A’s outfielder Coco Crisp has posted an ad on Craigslist “looking for a live-in personal assistant (female) that can help simplify my life.”

Here’s the full text of the ad:

Hi,

My name is Covelli Crisp (Coco Crisp), i am a professional baseball player. Looking for a live-in personal assistant (Female) that can help simplify my life.

Appointment scheduling
Bill payment scheduling
Maintaining and updating contact lists
Dinner parties
Away home care
Provisioning and house setup
Travel planning
Dinner reservations
Personal shopping
Tickets to entertainment events
Manage invitations
Culinary ability
Light house work, etc…

Salary of $40,000/YR with room and board. please contact me at Covellicococrisp@aol.com
**Include resume and picture**

I especially like the “include resume and picture” part at the end, because everyone knows the key to a good personal assistant is what they look like. Also, it’s nice to see that someone under the age of 60 is still using an AOL e-mail address.

Rays trade Jake Odorizzi to Twins

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The Rays have traded right-hander Jake Odorizzi to the Twins, per team announcements on Saturday evening. The Twins will receive minor league shortstop Jermaine Palacios in the deal. Despite previous speculation, recently-DFA’d outfielder Corey Dickerson was not included in the trade.

With Odorizzi, the Twins finally have the front-end starter they’ve been seeking all winter. It’s a bargain deal as well, as the 27-year-old righty is under contract through 2019 and didn’t require the club to part with any of their top-shelf prospects in the trade. Odorizzi will be looking to stage a comeback in 2018 after a dismal performance with the Rays last year, during which he eked out a career-worst 4.14 ERA, 3.8 BB/9 and 8.0 SO/9 through 143 1/3 innings.

Palacios, 21, ranked no. 27 in the Twins’ system last season. He split his year between Single-A Cedar Rapids and High-A Fort Myers, raking a combined .296/.333/.454 with 13 home runs and 20 stolen bases in 539 plate appearances. He’s expected to continue developing at shortstop, though he’s also seen limited time at second and third base during his four-year career in the minors.