Brian Sabean has no plans to trade Barry Zito … because he can’t

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Despite making $18.5 million this season as part of a seven-year, $126 million contract Barry Zito was left off the Giants’ playoff roster for all three rounds, but general manager Brian Sabean said yesterday that he has no plans to trade Zito this offseason.

You know why? Because he can’t. In related news, I have no plans to date Mila Kunis.

Zito is still owed $18.5 million in 2011, $19 million in 2012, and $20 million in 2013, with an $18 million option or $7 million buyout in 2014. Which team is willing to assume what’s essentially a three-year, $64.5 million contract for a 33-year-old pitcher who went 1-10 with a 5.19 ERA in his final 15 starts?

Feel free to take your time thinking of answer. There isn’t one.

Of course, Sabean did his best to spin the situation:

We like Barry’s contribution as far as the innings he pitches and the starts he makes. Part of Barry’s problem is that we haven’t been able to score for him.

“As fas the innings he pitches and the starts he makes” is sort of an amazing way to put it, because it completely leaves out the run-prevention aspect of Zito’s job and basically just means “well, at least he hasn’t gotten hurt.” Zito is 40-57 with a 4.45 ERA through four seasons in San Francisco, but he has averaged 33 starts and 192 innings per year.

Make no mistake, though: Sabean would gladly trade Zito if he could. And he’d be willing to eat quite of a bit of that remaining $64.5 million contract to do so. But even if the Giants were to toss in, say, $30 million along with Zito in a trade, are there any teams out there interested in paying him $34.5 million over the next three years? Probably not, so they’ll keep paying $19 million for a good fifth starter and I’ll avoid giving Mila a call.

Jason Kipnis placed on 10-day disabled list with strained hamstring

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The Indians announced on Wednesday that second baseman Jason Kipnis has been placed on the 10-day disabled list with a strained right hamstring. Infielder Erik Gonzalez was called up from Triple-A Columbus.

Kipnis, 30, has been bothered by the hamstring for the last two months. He had to be pulled from Tuesday’s game with renewed tightness. The veteran is hitting .228/.285/.409 with 11 home runs and 30 RBI in 335 plate appearances on the season.

Gonzalez, 25, has a .263/.272/.400 triple-slash line in 82 PA in the majors this season. He provides versatility for the Indians as he’s played second base, third base, shortstop, and both corner outfield positions as a member of the Tribe.

Jackie Bradley Jr. goes on the disabled list with a sprained thumb

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The Red Sox placed outfielder Jackie Bradley Jr. on the 10-day disabled list with a sprained thumb this afternoon.

Bradley’s left thumb got bent back awkwardly as he slid into home plate on Tuesday night in Cleveland. X-rays came back negative, but an MRI taken Wednesday morning in Boston revealed the sprain. It’s unclear at this point how long he might be sidelined.

Bradley is hitting .262/.343/.432 with 14 homers and 54 runs batted in on the season. Andrew Benintendi is likely to take over in center field for Bradley, with Chris Young and Brock Holt sharing time in left.