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Brian Sabean has no plans to trade Barry Zito … because he can’t

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Despite making $18.5 million this season as part of a seven-year, $126 million contract Barry Zito was left off the Giants’ playoff roster for all three rounds, but general manager Brian Sabean said yesterday that he has no plans to trade Zito this offseason.

You know why? Because he can’t. In related news, I have no plans to date Mila Kunis.

Zito is still owed $18.5 million in 2011, $19 million in 2012, and $20 million in 2013, with an $18 million option or $7 million buyout in 2014. Which team is willing to assume what’s essentially a three-year, $64.5 million contract for a 33-year-old pitcher who went 1-10 with a 5.19 ERA in his final 15 starts?

Feel free to take your time thinking of answer. There isn’t one.

Of course, Sabean did his best to spin the situation:

We like Barry’s contribution as far as the innings he pitches and the starts he makes. Part of Barry’s problem is that we haven’t been able to score for him.

“As fas the innings he pitches and the starts he makes” is sort of an amazing way to put it, because it completely leaves out the run-prevention aspect of Zito’s job and basically just means “well, at least he hasn’t gotten hurt.” Zito is 40-57 with a 4.45 ERA through four seasons in San Francisco, but he has averaged 33 starts and 192 innings per year.

Make no mistake, though: Sabean would gladly trade Zito if he could. And he’d be willing to eat quite of a bit of that remaining $64.5 million contract to do so. But even if the Giants were to toss in, say, $30 million along with Zito in a trade, are there any teams out there interested in paying him $34.5 million over the next three years? Probably not, so they’ll keep paying $19 million for a good fifth starter and I’ll avoid giving Mila a call.

Angels sign Eric Young, Jr. to a minor league contract

ATLANTA, GA - APRIL 11:  Eric Young Jr. #4 of the Atlanta Braves slides safely into third base on a RBI triple in the fifth inning against the New York Mets during the Braves opening series at Turner Field on April 11, 2015 in Atlanta, Georgia.  Andrelton Simmons #19 scored on the triple.  (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)
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Mike DiGiovanna of the Los Angeles Times reports that the Angels have inked outfielder Eric Young, Jr. to a minor league contract with an invitation to spring training.

Young, 31, played in just six games and logged one plate appearance in the majors this past season with the Yankees. He last played regularly in 2014. While Young doesn’t do much with the bat, he could provide value as a pinch-runner. He also offers versatility, having played all three outfield positions along with second base.

The Angels have Ben Revere as their fourth outfielder and Jefry Marte behind him, so Young would need to have a very impressive showing in spring training to find a spot on the Angels’ roster.

Report: Blue Jays close to a deal with Jarrod Saltalamacchia

TORONTO, CANADA - JULY 9: Jarrod Saltalamacchia #39 of the Detroit Tigers hits an RBI single in the fourth inning during MLB game action against the Toronto Blue Jays on July 9, 2016 at Rogers Centre in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. (Photo by Tom Szczerbowski/Getty Images)
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Update (5:20 PM EST): It’s a minor league contract, per Ken Rosenthal of FOX Sports. If he makes the major league roster, Saltalamacchia will earn $1.25 million with an additional $250,000 available through incentives.

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The Blue Jays are close to a deal with free agent catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Shi Davidi of Sportsnet is reporting.

Saltalamacchia, 31, hit a meager .171/.284/.346 with 12 home runs and 38 RBI in 292 plate appearances with the Tigers this past season. With Russell Martin getting regular playing time behind the plate, Saltalamacchia will serve as his understudy, pushing A.J. Jimenez and Juan Graterol down on the depth chart.

The veteran catcher isn’t far removed from being a productive backstop. He had an .805 OPS in 70 games with the Diamondbacks in 2015 and also helped the Red Sox win the World Series in 2013 with an .804 OPS in 121 games.