Dallas lawyer files the greatest Motion for Continuance ever

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A motion for continuance is when you ask the court to postpone a hearing or a trial or something because you or your client can’t make it or need more time or whatever. They’re often used in the case of medical emergencies, conflicts with other cases, newly discovered evidence that needs more time to be processed and things like that. And yes, they’re often used for the simple purpose of delay, but if we cataloged everything lawyers do for that purpose we’d be here all week.

Anyway, Dallas lawyer Darrell Cook has a case going on in Irving, Texas, and he had to file a Motion for Continuance yesterday. His reason: he’s a big Rangers fan and he has tickets to Games 1 and 2 in San Francisco so he can’t make today’s hearing. You can read it all here. I give him credit for actually marshaling evidence in support of his motion and making an argument rather than simply putting the matter before the court and assuming it will be granted. The best part comes in a footnote:

It should be pointed out that A-Rod, a/k/a “A-Fraud”, took a called strike three to end the series and secure the Pennant for the Rangers. It has no significance to this Motion other than the fact that Darrell likes to point it out as much as possible.

That’s some good lawyerin’, there, Lou.

(thanks to reader TexasDawg for the link)

Cubs sign Drew Smyly to a two-year, $10 million contract

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The Cubs announced on Tuesday evening that the club signed pitcher Drew Smyly to a two-year contract. Ken Rosenthal of The Athletic reports the contract is for $10 million total and allows Smyly to earn another $7 million with performance bonuses. Smyly was non-tendered by the Mariners at the beginning of the month and became a free agent.

Smyly, 28, underwent season-ending Tommy John surgery in late June. He’s expected to miss, at minimum, the first half of the 2018 season. The Cubs are hoping he can contribute to a playoff push in the latter half of the season as well as in 2019.

Smyly didn’t pitch at all in 2017. When he was healthy the season prior, he made 30 starts for the Rays and put up a 4.88 ERA and a 167/49 K/BB ratio in 175 1/3 innings.