Champagne showers after the Division Series? Really?

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Hey, if you’re happy, enjoy yourself and don’t let me stop you, but really: champagne showers after winning the Division Series?

If you ask any Phillies fan — and even if you don’t ask any Phillies fan — they’ll tell you in no uncertain terms that the expectation is winning the World Series. If they somehow get beat in the NLCS, they will almost certainly consider the season to be have ended in disappointment.

In light of that, you’d think that Philly would be a bit more subdued with the bubbly than they were last night.  They’ve really accomplished only a small component part of your expected goal, after all. Yet there they were, splashing around like Joe Carter just hit the walkoff home run.  Well, that is, if they were the Blue Jays in 1993 and Joe Carter had just hit the walkoff home run, but you get the idea.

The Yankees did some champagne showering after their series win on Saturday as well. Most accounts of it had it being a more subdued affair than usual — they sprayed the champagne, but stopped there and didn’t do the beer shower thing — but still: will any of them be satisfied if they’re knocked out by either Tampa Bay or Texas?  Will the season, ultimately, have been a success justifying a boozy celebration? I kinda think not.

I also kind of wonder about the whole history and dynamic of the champagne shower. I’m guessing it started as a spontaneous thing once upon a time, with some wiseacre middle infielder bringing in a bottle of bubbly or two in order to spritz a dour teammate.  Now everything is supplied, the room is prepared and even if some players don’t think it truly appropriate to celebrate at a given time, they’re expected to. Maybe Roy Halladay, if he had his druthers, would prefer that everyone wait until they at least clinch the NL pennant. He can’t, though, because all that stuff has been laid out for everybody and that’s just how crowds work.

My view of this is that it’s probably OK to celebrate clinching the division or wild card. No, it’s not ideal, especially for a team whose playoff hopes were never in doubt, but the regular season, she is a long one, and a man deserves to let loose after six or seven months of work. But after knocking off the Reds or the Twins? Jeez, fellas, you were expected to do that. Act like it, whydontcha?

And if you think I’m being overly grumpy here: well, you’re damn right I am. Gonna be all day, thank you very much, and there’s nothing you can do short of giving Brooks Conrad an atomic wedgie to stop me.

Keith Law: The Braves have the best farm system. Who has the worst?

PHOENIX, AZ - APRIL 06:  General manager Dave Stewart of the Arizona Diamondbacks laughs on the field before the Opening Day MLB game against the San Francisco Giants at Chase Field on April 6, 2015 in Phoenix, Arizona.  (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
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Why is this man smiling? Man, I wouldn’t be smiling if I read what I just read.

This is the week when ESPN’s Keith Law releases his prospect and farm system rankings. He kicks off his content this week with a top-to-bottom ranking of all 30 farm systems. As a rule he limits his analysis to players who are currently in the minors and who have not yet exhausted their rookie of the year eligibility.

For the second straight year, Law ranks the Braves as the best system in baseball. Number two — making a big leap from last year’s number 13 ranking – is the New York Yankees. Dead last: the Arizona Diamondbacks, which Law says “Dave Stewart ritually disemboweled” over the past two years. That’s gotta hurt.

If you want to know the reasons and the rankings of everyone in between you’ll have to get an ESPN Insider subscription. Sorry, I know everyone hates to pay for content on the Internet, but Keith and others who do this kind of work put a lot of damn work into it and this is what pays their bills. I typically don’t like to pay for content myself, but I do pay for an ESPN Insider subscription. It’s worth it for Law’s work alone.

The Blue Jays will . . . not be blue some days next year

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The Toronto Blue Jays, like a lot of teams, will wear an alternate jersey next year. It’ll be for Sunday home games. They call it their “Canadiana,” uniforms. Which, hey, let’s hear it for national pride.

(question to Canada: my grandmother and my three of my four maternal great-grandparents were Canadian. Does that give me any rights to emigrate? You know, just in case? No reason for asking that today. Just curious!).

Anyway, these are the uniforms:

More like RED Jays, am I right?

OK, I am not going to leave this country. I’m going to stay here and fight for what’s right: a Major League Baseball-wide ban on all red alternate jerseys for anyone except the Cincinnati Reds, who make theirs work somehow. All of the rest of them look terrible.

Oh, Canada indeed.