Melky Cabrera: batting fifth in a playoff game. Mercy.

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People wonder why I’m emotionally checked-out from the Braves. Why I’m sleeping on their chances. Why I’m totally content to play the “happy to be here” card and to spend more time thinking about what, if any team I’ll pick up as a temporary rooting interest in the next round of the playoffs after the Braves bow out.

Here’s a good reason: Melky Cabrera is batting fifth in the Braves’ lineup tonight.  Fifth! As in, the guy behind the cleanup hitter. The place you usually want to put a guy with a little pop, seeing as though there’s a good chance that the team’s two best hitters — third and cleanup — could reasonably be expected to be on base. Melky.

Depending on how you measure it, Melky Cabrera is probably the worst player in the league. At least among those who received any significant playing time. He’s five-tools bad: he doesn’t hit for average. He doesn’t hit for power. He isn’t fast. He doesn’t have a good glove. He doesn’t have a good arm.

Did Eric Hinske die and no one’s telling us? Is Nate McLouth battling a case of shingles? Is there anything sadder than the fact that both of those are questions that Braves fans legitimately deserve answers to as they wish for something approaching a quality lineup? Melky. Really. Fifth.

As I was trying to think of a way to end this post, I vented about Melky to Gleeman.  His response: “If Matt Cain throws a no-hitter tonight, I would rank it slightly behind James Shields’ start.”  And he’s right. Melky.

Know what I’m going to think about all winter? About what the 2010 Braves could have accomplished had they had even a single average outfielder beyond Jason Heyward.

Melky!

Video: Yoenis Cespedes’ bat flip was well-earned, well-executed

NEW YORK, NY - AUGUST 29: Yoenis Cespedes #52 of the New York Mets flips his bat after hitting a walk off home run in the tenth inning to defeat the Miami Marlins 2-1 in a game at Citi Field on August 29, 2016 in the Flushing neighborhood of the Queens borough of New York City. (Photo by Rich Schultz/Getty Images)
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We mentioned this in the recaps this morning but Yoenis Cespedes deserves a post of his own.

He deserves it for his walkoff homer in the tenth inning of last night’s game against the Marlins. He deserves it for the fact that he’s hit five homers and has driven in nine runs in his last ten games while raising his batting average ten points. And, most of all, he deserves it for the magnificent bat flip after watching the ball fly:

Here’s the whole play from MLB.com:

Tim Tebow already offered a winter league contract

ARLINGTON, TX - DECEMBER 31:  Broadcaster Tim Tebow of the SEC Network speaks on air before the Goodyear Cotton Bowl at AT&T Stadium on December 31, 2015 in Arlington, Texas.  (Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images)
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Today Tim Tebow will work out for 15-20 major league scouts. But even if they all pass on him, he has a job lined up. Jeff Passan reports that Tebow has already been offered a contract for the Venezuelan winter league.

The club offering is Aguilas del Zulia, a five-time champion of the Venezuelan Professional Baseball League and two-time Caribbean Series winner. Passan says that they sent a contract to Tebow’s agents. He says that Tebow is interested in playing winter ball.

Winter ball is an interesting beast in that, unlike indy ball it’s not about the gimmicks and unlike the minor leagues it’s not about player development. While big league clubs often send prospects there to get seasoning, the Venezuelan and Dominican clubs want to win and routinely cut even established professional players in mid-season if they’re not pulling their weight.

Which could be interesting for Tebow, given his lack of experience and the fact that he would, by necessity, have to learn on the job.