OK, I figured out the James Shields thing

23 Comments

I should have realized this earlier, but I have finally figured it out: the Rays starting Shields in Game 2 over Game 3 has nothing to do with Rays ownership wanting to favor a Jewish pitcher* with an earlier, at-home start.  It was simply an act of religious tolerance.

Why? Because Game 3 is on Saturday. And Saturday, Dude, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that James Shields
doesn’t work, he doesn’t drive a car, he doesn’t f—— ride in a car, he doesn’t
handle money, he doesn’t turn on the oven, and he sure as s— doesn’t f—— pitch!

But if Joe Maddon wants a toe, Shields can get him a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don’t wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, Shields can get you a toe by 3 o’clock this afternoon… with nail polish.

*Probably worth noting that I can’t find anything in the Internet suggesting that Shields actually is, you know, Jewish. But I kind of hope he is if, for no other reason, than I like to picture him ranting like Walter Sobchak.

Brandon McCarthy wins final spot in Dodgers’ rotation

Jayne Kamin-Oncea/Getty Images
Leave a comment

We learned on Monday that Hyun-Jin Ryu won one of the final two spots in the Dodgers’ starting rotation. Brandon McCarthy has won the other, Bill Plunkett of the Orange County Register reports. Alex Wood was McCarthy’s competitor for the spot.

McCarthy, 33, posted a 4.85 ERA across four appearances spanning 13 innings this spring, yielding seven earned runs on 14 hits and a walk with seven strikeouts. Wood, a southpaw, gave up five earned runs in six innings against the Reds on Tuesday, which might have factored into the decision.

Last season, McCarthy made nine starts and one relief appearance, posting a 4.95 ERA with a 44/26 K/BB ratio in 40 innings. In the event McCarthy falters, the club has Wood as well as Julio Urias and the injured Scott Kazmir as potential replacements.

Yankees re-sign Jon Niese to a minor league deal

Elsa/Getty Images
Leave a comment

The Yankees have re-signed pitcher Jon Niese to a minor league contract, George A. King III of the New York Post reports. Niese was released on Sunday, but he’ll stick around and provide rotation depth for the Yankees.

Niese had knee surgery last August and got a late start to spring training as a result. In six spring appearances lasting an inning each, the lefty gave up three earned runs on five hits and a walk with five strikeouts.

Niese, a veteran of nine seasons, put up an aggregate 5.50 ERA with an 88/47 K/BB ratio in 121 innings last season between the Pirates and Mets.