Baseball, union to meet on K-Rod today

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Major League Baseball, union folk and enough lawyers to fill out an intermural volleyball team will meet today to chat about the grievance Francisco Rodriguez filed after the Mets withheld salary from him and purported to make his contract non-guaranteed for next season.

I wouldn’t expect anything notable to happen today, inasmuch as this is a required meeting in advance of the arbitration of the matter. Much like, back when I was practicing law, opposing sides were supposed to confer with one another over discovery disputes prior to calling the judge about it.  It usually went like this:

Me: Dude, I requested “every document relating to research expenditures for fiscal year 2005.”  You sent me a kid’s menu from Bob Evans. And two of the three tic-tac-toe games were already filled out.

Other lawyer: I can assure you, we’ve searched for everything you’ve asked for, and what you have is all we are going to produce.

Me: Wait, those two things you just said don’t even go together. They fully provide for the possibility that you searched for and found everything I want, but that you’re simply not going to give it to me.

Other lawyer: Lalalalalalalalalal I can’t hear you!!!

Me: [conferencing in the judge]: Your honor, plaintiff’s counsel will not provide me with relevant documents and will not give me a good reason why. I simply cannot defend my case unless I have his production.

Judge: [waking up] Er, um, yes . . . I am so tired of the lack of civility among lawyers these days. Clearly we can resolve this dispute without my need to issue an order, can’t we?

Me: Actually, no. That’s why I’m calling. They’re being unreasonable and are saying “lalalalalala.”

Judge: Thank you counselor, now, please try to work together. Oh, and your trial date has been pushed back six months because I have a seminar or a vacation. I think. Gosh, why do people insist on suing one another?  Oh well . . . Zzzzzzzz.

Me: [bangs head on desk; says “screw it” and blogs about baseball for three hours, hoping the boss doesn’t catch me].

Mets’ Neil Walker expected to undergo season-ending back surgery

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - AUGUST 21: Neil Walker #20 of the New York Mets sits in the dugout before the game against the San Francisco Giants at AT&T Park on August 21, 2016 in San Francisco, California.  The New York Mets defeated the San Francisco Giants 2-0. (Photo by Jason O. Watson/Getty Images)
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Jared Diamond of The Wall Street Journal reports that Mets second baseman Neil Walker is expected to undergo season-ending surgery to fix a herniated disk in his lower back. Walker has avoided the disabled list but hasn’t played since last Saturday and has only two starts since August 22.

If Walker does indeed go under the knife, he’ll end his first season with the Mets with a terrific .282/.347/.476 triple-slash line with 23 home runs and 55 RBI in 458 plate appearances. While the Mets couldn’t have foreseen Daniel Murphy having such a terrific season, Walker was more than adequate in Murphy’s shoes at second base.

Kelly Johnson and Wilmer Flores have handled second base in Walker’s absence and will continue to do so through the remainder of the season.

Video: Stephen Cardullo celebrates his birthday by hitting a grand slam

DENVER, CO - AUGUST 31:  Stephen Cardullo #65 of the Colorado Rockies watches his first career Major League home run during the seventh inning against the Los Angeles Dodgers at Coors Field on August 31, 2016 in Denver, Colorado. (Photo by Justin Edmonds/Getty Images)
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Rockies 1B/OF Stephen Cardullo celebrated his 29th birthday on Wednesday, so the rookie decided to celebrate by homering in both games of his team’s doubleheader at home against the Dodgers.

In the first game, Cardullo pinch-hit for Chris Rusin in the seventh inning and drilled a solo home run off of Casey Fien. In the second game, Cardullo smacked a grand slam to left-center field off of Bud Norris in the first inning.

Cardullo made his major league debut this past Friday. He was hitless in his first five at-bats before singling as a pinch-hitter on Monday.