Man pulls sword over baseball card. Read on if you want; headline pretty much says it all.

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Look, this story pretty much explains itself, so let me use the preamble to the usual block quote to ask the media something: How hard would it have been to figure out which card the guy decided to flash steel over? I mean, it’s the ONE thing I want to know after reading this:

Recently, a suspended Washington postal worker was taken into custody
after a dispute with a convenience store clerk over a baseball card
turned ugly after the clerk refused to immediately return the card. The
59-year old man returned to the convenience store with a 3-foot sword
threatening to the employee.

The man then returned to his home a few  block away, several minutes
after returning, the Washington police sent a SWAT team to the baseball
carnoisseur’s layer. The man surrendered his sword after the SWAT team
bombarded his castle with Tear Gas.

Well, I’d also like to know (a) if this really was a castle; and (b) what the heck a “carnoisseur” is, but let’s leave that lone for the moment.

My guess: the guy pulled the sword over a 1989 Fleer Larry Sheets. Because those are the rarest of the rare. Out in public, I mean. They’d have to be, because I’m pretty sure I have the entire run of them in my basement. If the water main breaks, the Larry Sheets cards will be able to soak it up for a month.

Nationals will add Mat Latos to the roster on Thursday

ARLINGTON, TX - MAY 11:  Mat Latos #38 of the Chicago White Sox pitches against the Texas Rangers in the bottom of the first inning at Globe Life Park in Arlington on May 11, 2016 in Arlington, Texas.  (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images)
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Thursday is September 1, which means rosters expand. As a result, the Nationals plan to promote pitcher Mat Latos to the major league roster, Ken Rosenthal of FOX Sports reports. Latos had an opt-out clause for Monday, but after discussing the matter with the team, he agreed to stay at Triple-A Syracuse until Thursday.

Latos, 28, put up a 4.62 ERA over 11 starts with the White Sox before being released in mid-June. Nearly two weeks later, he signed a minor league contract with the Nationals.

In the Nationals’ minor league system, Latos has made three starts for the club’s Gulf Coast League team as well as three for Syracuse. In aggregate, the right-hander has yielded six runs (four earned) on 20 hits and 10 walks with 28 strikeouts in 28 innings.

Latos will likely pitch out of a long relief role for the Nationals and can be used as starting rotation insurance as well.

John Gibbons texts Mark Buehrle, “You know, rosters expand in September.”

ST. PETERSBURG, FL - OCTOBER 2:  Mark Buehrle #56 of the Toronto Blue Jays pitches during the second inning of a game against the Tampa Bay Rays on October 2, 2015 at Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg, Florida.  (Photo by Brian Blanco/Getty Images)
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Mark Buehrle hasn’t officially retired, but he hasn’t thrown a pitch in professional baseball since last October. Still, the Blue Jays wouldn’t mind having some insurance, so manager John Gibbons recently texted Buehrle, “You know, rosters expand in September,” Sportsnet’s Ben Nicholson-Smith reports.

Buehrle’s response? He texted back a picture of a lake. Sounds like he’s not interested in making a return, at least this year.

Last year, at the age of 36, Buehrle went 15-8 with a 3.81 ERA with a 91/33 K/BB ratio in 198 2/3 innings while leading the league with four complete games. He fell 1 1/3 innings shy of a 15th consecutive 200-inning season. There are many worse ways to end a career.