Ozzie Guillen and Bobby Abreu's day off

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The mid-afternoon blahs always hit me around 3PM, and when they do my deep-thinking abilities flag. And I start paying attention to really dumb stuff. Like celebrity Twitter accounts. Here’s an Ozzie Guillen tweet from around then:


Enjoying this great day off in anaheim some shopping then maybe dinner with my goo friend bobby abreu

I love the idea of Ozzie Guillen and Bobby Abreu hanging out, doing a little shopping, then going to dinner. I picture a mid-80s movie-style musical montage in which Abreu comes out of the dressing room with a new outfit on, but Ozzie shakes his head.  Abreu comes out with a second outfit on, but Ozzie shakes his head.  Then Abreu comes out with a third outfit on and Ozzie smiles and gives him a big thumbs up. Then they go to Orange Julius together and plot how to get the best of William Zabka or whoever.

The only thing that killed this little daydream was a tweet from MLB.com’s Twitter feed a few minutes ago, re-tweeting Ozzie’s thing, only with edits:

RT @OzzieGuillen Enjoying this great day off in anaheim some shopping then maybe dinner with my good friend @BobKellyAbreu #whitesox #angels

Note the added “d” at the end of the word good? Ozzie’s omission of the “d” made his tweet charming. I could hear his voice, man! And Ozzie isn’t a big social media maven, so he had no need to @ Abreu’s name or do the hashtags. He was just keepin’ it real.

Oh well. I hope Ozzie and Bobby have fun today.

Angel Pagan body-slammed a fan on the field

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - SEPTEMBER 13: Angel Pagan #16 of the San Francisco Giants argues with umpire Jerry Meals #41 after a called third strike during the first inning against the San Diego Padres at AT&T Park on September 13, 2016 in San Francisco, California.  (Photo by Jason O. Watson/Getty Images)
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Don’t interrupt Angel Pagan in the middle of a wild card race. Better yet, don’t interrupt him at all.

A fan learned that the hard way during Friday’s Giants-Dodgers game. In the fourth inning, a group of fans ran onto the field with white flowers in their hands, presumably to hand to Giants players. According to eyewitness accounts, one player was reprimanded by San Francisco starter Madison Bumgarner, while Buster Posey fended off another.

Angel Pagan, however, took more extreme and inventive measures.

On-field security started closing in on the fan as he approached Pagan, but didn’t appear to pick up the pace until the outfielder dropped him on the field.

Vin Scully, who was wrapping up the third-to-last game of his career, provided play-by-play of the incident.

A couple of kids, trying to steal a moment, slow down the game, running on the field and just taking a big moment on the big stage. They’ve got one of them in right field, and the other one is nailed down by Pagan in left field. And the crowd loved that! They went up to do something with Angel Pagan, but [Pagan] grabbed him and slammed him to the ground, and they’re taking him off the field. […] Doesn’t that bring you back to the ’60s, and the flower children? Oh what, you don’t remember the ’60s? Okay.

The next time you want to send a message to a player, maybe try a tweet (throw in a flower emoji or two if you feel so inclined). Just don’t make a showy display of affection in the middle of a game. It’s bound to go badly, at least where Angel Pagan is concerned.

The Rangers have home-field advantage through postseason

ARLINGTON, TX - SEPTEMBER 30:  Yu Darvish #11 of the Texas Rangers throws against the Tampa Bay Rays in the first inning at Globe Life Park in Arlington on September 30, 2016 in Arlington, Texas.  (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)
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Thanks to Yu Darvish, the Rangers will enter the postseason as the No. 1 seed in the American League.

Darvish was outstanding on Friday night, pegging the Rays with a 3-1 loss on three hits, a run, and 12 strikeouts over six innings. It was the crown jewel of performances for the right-hander, who is carrying a 3.53 ERA and 2.3 fWARP in his first season since undergoing Tommy John surgery in 2015.

The Rangers, who have gone 1-5 on days when they’ve offered Darvish fewer than four runs of support, eked out a two-run lead against Tampa Bay starter Matt Andriese. Adrian Beltre roped an RBI single in the first inning, followed by a pair of solo shots from Carlos Beltran and Rougned Odor in the third and sixth innings.

With the win, the Rangers clinched home-field advantage through the World Series, thanks to a 4-2 win in the All-Star Game back in July. Getting to the World Series will present another challenge entirely, though Darvish figures to stay in the mix with Cole Hamels as the Rangers build toward the Division Series on Thursday. If they advance against the wild card winner in the ALDS, they’ll face either the Indians or the Red Sox in the Championship Series.