FanHouse's David Whitley cannot explain the concept of love to his children

77 Comments

Last week I wrote of my distaste of the casual homophobia fostered by the Kiss Cam and some St. Louis fans’ desire to use it as a means of protest.  I missed this at the time, but David Whitley of FanHouse wrote about it on the same day. He took a bit of a different tack than I did:

I’d like to take the socially enlightened high road on this one, but I can’t help sympathizing with that father who’ll be sitting next to his son or daughter at Busch Stadium.

“Daddy, why are those two men kissing?”

“Umm, err, hey isn’t that Albert Pujols coming to bat?”

I just so happen to have a son and a daughter. If either of them asked me that question, the answer would be “because they love each other.”  Then again, maybe I just don’t appreciate all of the nuance of the allegedly complicated scenario Whitley has set up for us.

Kids understand love. It’s a pretty easy concept. What they may have a hard time understanding is being used as a rhetorical “think of the children” prop designed to hide the author’s deep, deep discomfort with homosexuality in an online column. Whitley:

Call me homophobic, but I just don’t think a 5- or 10-year-old brain is ready to tackle those complexities.

Fine. You’re homophobic.

And you know what kinds of complexities my five year-old has a hard time understanding? Unfairness. Like when his sister gets a toy and he doesn’t. Or when his friend gets a cookie but he doesn’t. And while it hasn’t come up yet, I can guarantee you that he’d have an equally hard time understanding why some folks get to marry the people they love and some people don’t. Indeed, the unfairness of that would be as plain as could be.

Wanna know hard? Try explaining to your kid the rationale behind such disparate treatment. I bet you can’t.  Not even to a five year-old.

The Braves cave, a little anyway, on their outside food policy

Leave a comment

On Friday the Atlanta Braves announced a new policy for outside food, prohibiting ticket holders from bringing in their own. This was a reversal of their old policy — and the policies of the majority of teams around the league — which allowe fans to bring in soft-sided coolers with their own food and beverages, at least as long as the beverages were sealed.

The Braves claimed that the policy change was “a result of tighter security being put into place this season throughout the league,” but this was clearly untrue as no other teams are cracking down on outside food like this. If there are new security procedures, everyone else is able to accommodate them without an opportunistic crackdown on fans bringing in PB&J for their toddlers. It seemed more likely that this was a simple cash grab.

Today the Braves have reversed the policy somewhat:

While they’re looking for kudos here, this is likewise an admission that the “security” stuff was bull because, last I checked, security procedures aren’t subject to popular referendum and aren’t changed when people complain. What really happened here, it seems, is the Braves, for the first time in living memory, were called out by the public for their greed and realized that even they have some responsibility to not be jackasses about this sort of thing.

Still, a gallon bag policy is not the same as it was before. You could bring coolers into Turner Field and still can bring them into most parks around the league. But I guess this is better than nothing.

Donald Trump may throw out the first pitch at the Nationals opener

Getty Images
7 Comments

It’s just gossip now, but Politico is hearing that Donald Trump is in talks to throw out the first pitch at Nationals Park on Opening Day. The Nats are not commenting. Neither are the Palm Beach Cardinals of the Florida State League, who no doubt feel slighted given that the president effectively is a local.

With the caveat that, on Opening Day, tickets are likely to be more expensive and thus you’re likely to have a lot more rich people and friends-of-the-owners in attendance, thereby ensuring a more conservative crowd, I’m struggling to imagine a situation in which Trump strolls on to a baseball field in a large American city and isn’t booed like crazy. He’s polling as low as 36% in some places. He’s not exactly Mr. Popular.

Oh well. I look forward to him three-bouncing one to Matt Wieters and then grabbing his phone and tweeting about how it was the best, most tremendous first pitch in baseball history. Or blaming Hillary Clinton for it in the event he admits that it was a bad pitch.