FanHouse's David Whitley cannot explain the concept of love to his children

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Last week I wrote of my distaste of the casual homophobia fostered by the Kiss Cam and some St. Louis fans’ desire to use it as a means of protest.  I missed this at the time, but David Whitley of FanHouse wrote about it on the same day. He took a bit of a different tack than I did:

I’d like to take the socially enlightened high road on this one, but I can’t help sympathizing with that father who’ll be sitting next to his son or daughter at Busch Stadium.

“Daddy, why are those two men kissing?”

“Umm, err, hey isn’t that Albert Pujols coming to bat?”

I just so happen to have a son and a daughter. If either of them asked me that question, the answer would be “because they love each other.”  Then again, maybe I just don’t appreciate all of the nuance of the allegedly complicated scenario Whitley has set up for us.

Kids understand love. It’s a pretty easy concept. What they may have a hard time understanding is being used as a rhetorical “think of the children” prop designed to hide the author’s deep, deep discomfort with homosexuality in an online column. Whitley:

Call me homophobic, but I just don’t think a 5- or 10-year-old brain is ready to tackle those complexities.

Fine. You’re homophobic.

And you know what kinds of complexities my five year-old has a hard time understanding? Unfairness. Like when his sister gets a toy and he doesn’t. Or when his friend gets a cookie but he doesn’t. And while it hasn’t come up yet, I can guarantee you that he’d have an equally hard time understanding why some folks get to marry the people they love and some people don’t. Indeed, the unfairness of that would be as plain as could be.

Wanna know hard? Try explaining to your kid the rationale behind such disparate treatment. I bet you can’t.  Not even to a five year-old.

Jose Fernandez’ memorial service will be today

JUPITER, FL - FEBRUARY 24: Pitcher Jose Fernandez of the Miami Marlins poses for photos on media day at Roger Dean Stadium on February 24, 2016 in Jupiter, Florida. (Photo by Marc Serota/Getty Images)
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There will be a public memorial service for Jose Fernandez today. The Miami Marlins said in a news release today that fans can gather along the west side of Marlins Park this afternoon for the departure of a funeral motorcade at 2:16 p.m. Fernandez wore No. 16 on his jersey. For those not in Miami, ESPN will provide live coverage of memorial services from 2-2:30 p.m. EDT.

A public viewing will be held at St. Brendan’s Catholic Church from 5 p.m. to 11 p.m. A private funeral Mass will be held tomorrow for family and Marlins players and personnel.

In lieu of flowers, the Fernandez family asks for charitable contributions to the JDF16 Foundation,

Video: Undercover David Ortiz drives a Lyft in Boston

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David Ortiz did one of those “Undercover Lyft” spots for, well, Lyft, in which famous people disguise themselves while driving passengers around. Yes, they’re ads, but they’re still pretty funny. At least this one was.

Best parts: (1) the woman who says she has two David Ortiz shirts to which Undercover Ortiz responds, “actually, all my shirts are his shirts”; and (2) when Ortiz agrees with someone that baseball games are “so loooong.” Oh, and at one point he tells a woman who said she was going to the Red Sox game that night that he was too. After he unmasked himself, she explains his own joke to him. Which, ooohhkay.

In other news, people who take Lyfts in Boston either don’t watch much baseball, because Ortiz’s costume is NOT very concealing, or else they simply don’t look at their Lyft driver while in the car, at all.