Oh noes! All the criminals are wearing Yankees caps!

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From today’s New York Times:

Since 2000, more than 100 people who have been suspects or persons of
interest in connection with serious crimes in New York City wore Yankees
apparel at the time of the crimes or at the time of their arrest or
arraignment. The tally is based on a review of New York Police
Department news releases, surveillance video and images of robberies and
other crimes, as well as police sketches and newspaper articles that
described suspects’ clothing. No other sports team comes close.

“Yankees are number1 ! Yankees are number 1! Wooo!  Suck it Red Sux!”

Oh, wait, that wasn’t the point of the story. The point of the story was that this is a “curious phenomenon.” And a troubling one too!  If not, the Times wouldn’t have consulted “criminologists, sports marketing analysts, and consumer psychologists.” Could this be . . . .a disturbing trend?

Must be, because one of the “experts” in the article blames Jay Z, who — you may or may not realize — occasionally wears a Yankees cap. Even gives the trend a name: “The Jay Z Effect.” I think anyone who lived through the awful “big ass clocks around the neck” crime spree from 1989 and the and The Great Hammer Pants Heist from 1992* knows how serious this is.

Or, you know, maybe this is just a b.s. trend piece that, at the most, unwittingly identifies a correlation between criminals being on the young side and youth culture wearing a lot of sports gear these days, with the Yankees just so happening to be the most popular team in the city.

OK, that’s being cynical. This is the Paper of Record, so there must be something to this.  But maybe it’s not about the Yankees. Maybe the real disturbing trend here is the increasing unpopularity of skiing, based on the clear fact that there are far fewer ski mask-wearing crooks today then their used to be.

And you know, if they’re going to go with skiing, if they tried hard, they could even throw in a global warming angle too . . .

*Props to Jay Destro for the Hammer Pants line. He’s dope on the floor and magic on the mic.

Indians sign Melky Cabrera to a minor league deal

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The Indians have signed free agent outfielder Melky Cabrera to a minor league deal. The pact is pending a physical.

Cabrera, 33, went unsigned this past offseason after putting up a season of .285/.324/.423 with 17 homers and 85 RBI with the White Sox and the Royals.

Cabrera will report to Columbus once he passes his physical and, according to Paul Hoynes, there are no guarantees being made to him that he’ll get playing time. That said, the Indians aren’t getting much outfield production from anyone besides Michael Brantley, and Cabrera’s status as a switch hitter would give Terry Francona some flexibility, so it would not be shocking to see him on the big club after some reps in the minors.