Yankees 9, Athletics 3: I suppose it’s inevitable that the Yankees will soon start getting burned by their starters only going four or five innings, but right now it’s working. And hey: they’re all alone in first place. Why?
Blue Jays 13, Rays 5: Because the Rays got annihilated when the Jays put up a 10-spot in the sixth inning. I was going to make that “Gashouse Gorillas doing a conga line around the bases” joke I do a few times a year here, but I did it just a month ago! And it involved the Blue Jays then too! I’m starting to worry that I’m not as clever and original as I like to think I am.
Astros 3, Cardinals 0: Land sakes, this is getting ugly. That’s four straight in the crapper for St. Louis, seven of eight and, of course, two straight listless shutouts in a row to the Astros, who are the spoilingest spoilers this side of Spoilsburg.
Reds 8, Brewers 4: And that makes for a seven game lead for the Redlegs. Aroldis Chapman made his major league debut. And see, I told you that 105 miles per hour business was totally fraudulent. He only hit [gulp] 102. Joey Votto got “MVP!” chants. I think those Cincy fans got a point.
Marlins 1, Nationals 0: I didn’t see any highlights from this as I was convinced by the missus that I needed to watch “True Blood.” I dunno. Ask me after I’ve seen more than the first two episodes. Anyway, it seems that Nyjer Morgan could have scored a run for the Nats in the 10th inning, but he decided he’d rather try to plow over catcher Brett Hayes than slide like a normal human being.
Pirates 14, Cubs 7: The Pirates were cruising and then Sean Gallagher came in and allowed five quick runs. The outcome was never really in doubt, but the Pirates can’t even rest when they’re up 14-2.
Twins 4, Tigers 3: Detroit clung to a 3-2 lead into the seventh but then Phil Coke walked one dude and then plunked two more to load the bases. Ryan Perry came in and walked in a run, and then he gave up an RBI single to Delmon Young. That’s teamwork!
White Sox 4, Indians 3: Manny’s White Sox debut will wait another day. He was on deck, though, waiting to pinch hit in the ninth when A.J. Pierzynski hit a three-run homer to break the 1-1 tie. I just hope that trip to the on deck circle didn’t gas poor Manny, thus making him unavailable for this afternoon’s game.
Braves 9, Mets 2: Luis Castillo bobbled what could have been a double play ball in the fifth and after that the floodgates opened. I’m guessing there will be a lot of folks who want to kill Castillo over that, but (a) there still would have only been two outs in the inning, and the Braves scored a couple of runs before what would have been out number three; and (b) Jon Niese still had to serve up that fat pitch David Ross deposited in the seats for a grand slam.
Orioles 5, Red Sox 2: The O’s just keep rolling along. Baltimore went 17-11 in August (17-10) with Buck Showalter. This season is always going to look ugly in the standings, but there is some serious hope for 2011 being built here.
Phillies 8, Dodgers 4: Ryan Howard and Brian Schneider each had three-run homers as the Phillies find some of that long lost offense. Carlos Monasterios, the Dodgers starter, said this through his translator after the game: “I was trying to pitch my game, but they were able to read all my pitches.” Gentlemen: there’s a spy among us. Sitting in this very room!
Diamondbacks 7, Padres 4: Six straight losses for the Padres. The losses to Philly I get. These to the Dbacks I don’t.
Giants 5, Rockies 2: Andres Torres led off the eighth inning with what proved to be the winning home run. Only four back of San Diego now.
Mariners 3, Angels 1: KIng Felix allowed only three hits and no runs through seven while striking out eight. No decision, though, because he got no run support while he was in the game. That’s the story of his season.
Royals 10, Rangers 9: Ties 9-9 in the ninth, Willie Bloomquist stole third with one out and then came home with the winning run when Alexi Ogando threw a wild pitch. Wait . . . what’s that? Um, I’m sorry everyone. The guild just informed me that I am obligated to say that Ogando “uncorked” a wild pitch. If you have any questions about this please consult the rulebook you’ve all been provided. The wild pitch stuff comes right after the chapter on “ensuing kickoffs.”