R.A. Dickey wants to be a U.S. Open ball boy


This is not a repeat from the “Seinfeld” episode “The Lip Reader” from 1993:

With another terrific performance on Sunday, R. A. Dickey continued to
demonstrate that he could perform at the highest level of his sport. Now
he wants to show he can do it in another sport, only not as a player.

Dickey dreams of being a ball boy at the United Stated Open tennis tournament. Or, as in the case of Kramer in an episode of the
television show “Seinfeld,” he wants to be a ball man — a bearded,
knuckleball-throwing, 35-year-old ball man.

“I think it would be really cool,” Dickey said, adding: “I’m really serious. Do you think I can do it?”

I think he can. Knuckleballers can do anything.  And he may be old, but he’s spry.

I’d watch the whole tournament too, just in case we got a shot of Omar Minaya covered in chocolate sauce as he ate an ice cream sundae.

Here are the lineups for NLCS Game 5

David Ross
Getty Images
Leave a comment

It’s tied 2-2, but if you’re like most people you have feelings about who has an edge.

Maybe you’re a “momentum” person and you like the Cubs’ current vibe because they scored a bunch last night. Maybe you’re a “momentum is your next day’s starting pitcher” guy, and you prefer either Jon Lester or Kenta Maeda. Or maybe you’re playing chess with all of this and thinking a couple of moves ahead. As in “yes, the Cubs have an advantage tonight because Lester is better than Maeda, but if they DON’T win tonight they’re screwed because then they have to face Kershaw and Hill in Games 6 and 7.”

I dunno. I find all of that rather exhausting. Let’s just watch and see what happens. Here’s who will be doing the happening:


1. Dexter Fowler (S) CF
2. Kris Bryant (R) 3B
3. Anthony Rizzo (L) 1B
4. Ben Zobrist (S) LF
5. Javier Baez (R) 2B
6. Jason Heyward (L) RF
7. Addison Russell (R) SS
8. David Ross (R) C
9. Jon Lester (L) LHP


1. Kiké Hernández (R) 2B
2. Justin Turner (R) 3B
3. Corey Seager (L) SS
4. Carlos Ruiz (R) C
5. Howie Kendrick (R) LF
6. Adrian González (L) 1B
7. Yasiel Puig (R) RF
8. Joc Pederson (L) CF
9. Kenta Maeda (R) RHP


Trevor Bauer says his finger will be OK for the World Series

TORONTO, ON - OCTOBER 17:  Trevor Bauer #47 of the Cleveland Indians walks back to the dugout after being relieved due to his cut pinky finger in the first inning against the Toronto Blue Jays during game three of the American League Championship Series at Rogers Centre on October 17, 2016 in Toronto, Canada.  (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)
Getty Images
1 Comment

Indians starter Trevor Bauer said he expects his sliced right pinkie to heal in time for the World Series.

Bauer, of course, is a drone hobbyist and hurt his finger while fixing a drone. By the time he’ll have to pitch again he will have had nine days since his last, bloody start in ALCS Game 3. Yesterday he said “I’ll be ready to pitch in the World Series whenever they need me. I’m doing everything I can and I’ll be back out there for sure.”

Bauer reportedly suggested that Indians trainers cauterize his finger on Monday. They declined. Which is something Bauer should probably thank them for.