Oliver Perez wants to stay with the Mets. Of course he does!

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This might be my favorite story of the day, mostly because it makes me incredibly sad. Oliver Perez told Adam Rubin of ESPN.com that he would like to be back with the Mets next season.

“I want to be back here. I want to have a
championship because I know the fans want it and I want it, too.”

Of course he wants to stay. You see, if the Mets had the marbles to cut him loose and some team took him on at the major league minimum, Perez might actually be forced to do something. Like go to the minor leagues and learn how to pitch.

By the way, Perez hasn’t appeared in a game since August 1. Don’t worry about it, though. That’s only because he’s the team’s emergency situational left-hander on the road in the event of a leap year. It’s a luxury only a few teams can afford.

J.D. Martinez tells teams he prefers an outfield role

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Free agent outfielder/slugger J.D. Martinez is reportedly seeking an outfield gig, says Michael Silverman of the Boston Herald. According to Silverman’s sources, Martinez’s suitors have been informed that the veteran slugger would give preference to teams that can offer a corner outfield spot, rather than a DH-only role.

That could spell trouble for the Red Sox, who appear to be Martinez’s biggest suitors so far this offseason. Outfielders Mookie Betts and Andrew Benintendi are firmly established at the corners, and prior reports from club president Dave Dombrowski suggest that center fielder Jackie Bradley Jr. is not going anywhere anytime soon (thereby eliminating the possibility of reshuffling the outfield). The DH spot is still wide open for Martinez, who doesn’t seem to be totally closed off to the idea, but any full-time or part-time role on the field is likely off the table at this point.

Of course, the Red Sox aren’t the only ones pursuing Martinez’s services this winter. The 30-year-old slugger has been linked to both the Diamondbacks and Giants in weeks past, and while they have the roster flexibility to accommodate his preferences, they’ll need to clear another massive hurdle: the seven-year, $250 million contract he’s said to be seeking. Both clubs will need to get creative to make such a deal work. The Diamondbacks are rumored to be shopping right-hander Zack Greinke in an attempt to free up some room on their payroll for Martinez, while the Giants appear more inclined to scour the trade market for outfield help than shell out cash for another hefty contract in free agency.