The Amazing Kreskin thinks he can fix the Pirates

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Little known fact: The Amazing Kreskin was the only guy who knew about Russell and Huntington’s contract extensions last winter! He also wants a job with the Pirates:

The hapless Pittsburgh Pirates have sunk so low in the standings that
The Amazing Kreskin is offering his services to bail them out — for an
undisclosed fee.

The mentalist, best known for his spots on late-night TV shows and a
good run of picking winners of Super Bowls, Academy Awards and
elections, thinks the Buccos not only will make this their 18th
consecutive losing season, but will continue to stay below .500 for
another two years.

And with trenchant insight like that you can see why this guy makes a living on his predictions.  What should the Buccos do, Mr. Amazing?

If retained, Kreskin promises to exile Pirates general manager Neal
Huntington and manager John Russell until their recently revealed
contract extensions expire in 2011, deals he believes sent the wrong
message of “failure and lack of team success” to a squad showcasing the
worst hitting and the second-worst pitching stats in Major League
Baseball . . . Kreskin believes that once the undynamic duo departs, he could use
the power of suggestion to fix the players’ collective funk.

Sounds good to me.  Notably, though, he doesn’t suggest that they be fired. He just thinks they should be sent out of the country somewhere until their contracts are up. He suggests Tibet and Uruguay.

On one level that’s crazy. Of course as of last night the Diamondbacks will be paying Josh Byrnes big money for the next five years to do nothing, so is it really all that crazy?

Four baseballs autographed by Jose Fernandez wash ashore

MIAMI, FL - AUGUST 03: Jose Fernandez #16 of the Miami Marlins looks on during a game against the New York Mets at Marlins Park on August 3, 2015 in Miami, Florida.  (Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)
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This is just . . . ugh.

WSVN-TV in Miami reports that a black bag containing Jose Fernandez’s checkbook and four baseballs signed by him washed ashore on Miami Beach. Probably a bag to keep stuff dry while out on the water.

The bag was given to a lifeguard. Hopefully the bag finds its way back to Fernandez’s family quickly.

Marlins sign Martin Prado to a three-year extension

ATLANTA, GA - AUGUST 06:  Martin Prado #14 of the Miami Marlins hits a sacrifice fly in the third inning during the game against the Atlanta Braves at Turner Field on August 6, 2015 in Atlanta, Georgia.  (Photo by Mike Zarrilli/Getty Images)
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The Miami Herald reports that the Marlins and Martin Prado have agreed to a three-year, $40 million contracy extension.

Prado has been highly effective for Miami, hitting .297/.350/.405 over two seasons The Marlins were eager to keep him and many teams were no doubt interested in trying to sign him this winter as he stood pretty darn tall on a pretty weak free agent market. He may very well have done better than the $40 million he’s getting, but a qualifying offer could’ve made the free agency process a bit more drawn out one than he would’ve preferred. And, of course, he seems very happy in Miami, as evidenced by his increasing role as a team leader with the Marlins.

For his career Prado has hit .293/.342/.423 over 11 seasons. He’ll now be locked up through his age-35 campaign.