Today is my 15th wedding anniversary. I’m only 36 years-old, so if you do the math you’ll realize that I didn’t exactly have a long dating career before gettin’ hitched. As such, I’ve never had to experience that dynamic in which I dumped a girl, went on with my life and, a year later, saw her walk by, looking hotter than ever, making me wonder what the hell I was thinking.
But after the past few days I bet it feels a lot like being an Angels fan.
Vladimir Guerrero (i.e. the girlfriend) went 4 for 4 with two homers and four RBI last night. In four games against the Angels this year he’s gone 10 for 16 with four
homers. Forget just bein’ hot: in this case the ex-girlfriend is hot and came into some money too.
The Rangers are now ahead of the Angels by four and a half games in the West. Which, to beat the final bit of life out of my metaphor, is the equivalent of not just seeing your hot, rich ex-girlfriend walk by, but seeing her arm-in-arm with the guy who took your job after you got laid off.
In other news, this is now the Angels new theme song.
Derek Jeter, part-owner of the Marlins, met with Miami-Dade County mayor Carlos Gimenez on Tuesday afternoon at Marlins Park, Douglas Hanks of the Miami Herald reports. They discussed potentially removing the home run sculpture from the ballpark, something that has been on Jeter’s to-do list since he took over.
Gimenez said of the sculpture, “I just don’t think they’re all that crazy about it. I’m not a fan. We’re looking at it. … We’ll see if anything can be done.”
According to Hanks, the sculpture is public property because it was purchased as part of the Art in Public Places program, which requires art to be installed for the public in county-owned buildings. Michael Spring, the cultural chief for Miami-Dade who was present with Jeter and Gimenez on Tuesday, had previously said that the sculpture was “not moveable” and was “permanently installed” because it was designed “specifically” for Marlins Park. On Tuesday, Spring said, “Anything is possible. But it is pretty complicated. And I wanted the mayor and the Marlins to understand how complicated it really was. We got a good look at it today, and they saw how big it was. There’s hydraulics, there’s plumbing, there’s electricity.”
With Jeter having traded Giancarlo Stanton, Marcell Ozuna, and Dee Gordon this offseason, the home run sculpture is arguably one of the last remaining interesting things about the Marlins in 2018. Naturally, he wants to get rid of it.