Today is my 15th wedding anniversary. I’m only 36 years-old, so if you do the math you’ll realize that I didn’t exactly have a long dating career before gettin’ hitched. As such, I’ve never had to experience that dynamic in which I dumped a girl, went on with my life and, a year later, saw her walk by, looking hotter than ever, making me wonder what the hell I was thinking.
But after the past few days I bet it feels a lot like being an Angels fan.
Vladimir Guerrero (i.e. the girlfriend) went 4 for 4 with two homers and four RBI last night. In four games against the Angels this year he’s gone 10 for 16 with four
homers. Forget just bein’ hot: in this case the ex-girlfriend is hot and came into some money too.
The Rangers are now ahead of the Angels by four and a half games in the West. Which, to beat the final bit of life out of my metaphor, is the equivalent of not just seeing your hot, rich ex-girlfriend walk by, but seeing her arm-in-arm with the guy who took your job after you got laid off.
In other news, this is now the Angels new theme song.