Please Hammer, don't hurt the 1990 Reds!


If the 1995 Braves do this they’d have Coolio and that guy who sang the “I’m Boombastic, say me fantastic” song:

Legendary hip hop performer and Grammy Award winner MC Hammer will bring
his high-energy show to Great American Ball Park on Friday, July 16 as
part of the celebration of the 1990 World Series Champion Cincinnati
Reds . . . MC Hammer’s pregame concert will run 6 to 6:40pm on the right field
porch and a second show will be on the field starting approximately 20
minutes after the conclusion of the game. He will also do a meet and
greet with fans in the FanZone.

A forty minute Hammer concert? I guess he does “U Can’t Touch This” and the Adams Family song and then repeats them five times. All I know for sure is that you should be careful if you’re going to the meet-and-greet because Hammer will probably try to hand you his resume or ask for a loan or something.

Then again, maybe he has something else in mind. Hammer is from Oakland. Big A’s fan. Used to even be an A’s batboy back in the day.  The 1990s Reds, you’ll recall, beat those A’s in the World Series. Maybe Hammer is making this appearance in order to position himself to exact his revenge — Joker-style — on the Reds and their fans!  You, know, just as he starts doing his little Hammer dance thing three helicopters fly over the stadium and spray poison gas as Hammer, his henchmen Vanilla Ice and, hell, I dunno, Rickey Henderson make their escape to some secret villains’ lair?

Nah. That would be too cool.  We’ll probably just get a B+ performance of “Have you seen her.”  Sigh.

Kyle Schwarber is on a private plane en route to Cleveland

PHOENIX, AZ - APRIL 07:  Kyle Schwarber #12 of the Chicago Cubs bats against the Arizona Diamondbacks during the MLB game at Chase Field on April 7, 2016 in Phoenix, Arizona.  (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
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This is happening, people.

Earlier we heard Joe Maddon being non-committal about Kyle Schwarber joining the Cubs for the World Series. Now it seems pretty clear that the Cubs are committal indeed: Jon Morosi reports that Schwarber is en route to Cleveland from Arizona on a private jet and that he’s expected to DH in Game 1 tomorrow night.

Schwarber hasn’t played in a game that counted since April 7. His potent bat is could be a windfall for a Cubs team that didn’t have a game-changing option at DH in the American League park.

Schwarber lost the whole season due to a knee injury, but he hit .246/.355/.487 with 16 homers and 43 RBI in 69 games as a rookie in 2015. His big coming out party was in the playoffs, however, when he hit three homers in five postseason games while going 7-for-13 with two walks in five games.

Carlos Santana in left field? Sure, OK.

CLEVELAND, OH - OCTOBER 15:  Carlos Santana #41 of the Cleveland Indians celebrates after hitting a home run in the second inning against J.A. Happ #33 of the Toronto Blue Jays during game two of the American League Championship Series at Progressive Field on October 15, 2016 in Cleveland, Ohio.  (Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images)
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Paul Hoynes of the Cleveland Plain Dealer reports that Indians First Baseman/DH Carlos Santana shagged some flyballs in left field during the Indians’ workout today.

Sure, why not? Santana has played one game in the outfield in his major league career and that was over four years ago, but the Indians will have to play in Chicago without the DH, meaning either losing Santana’s bat or that of Mike Napoli.

It would be up to Terry Francona to decide if that happens, but ultimately I don’t think he’ll make it real and, rather, will just forget about it, because Santana’s defense out there would in no way be smooth.

I’m sorry. I’m sick today and I’m on a lot of cold medicine.