Bad idea jeans: The Marlins are handing out vuvuzelas tomorrow

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I’m not following the World Cup closely enough to be able to say anything all that insightful. I know that England gave us that goal we got in the first game. I know we got boned this morning in the Slovenia game. I know that everyone hates the vuvuzelas too.

In fact, these plastic horns are so hated that some baseball teams — most notably the Yankees — have issued a peremptory ban on fans bringing them into the ballpark. The ban is less to prevent the actual annoyance than because there is a non-trivial chance that anyone who blows one of those things at the ballpark will be murdered, and that’s a lot of paperwork the Yankees don’t need.

But never fear, fans of obnoxiously awful things, the Marlins got your back!

Like it or not, Marlins players – and fans – will get an earful of
World Cup soccer atmosphere Saturday night at Sun Life Stadium. Plastic
horns will be given to the first 15,000 fans as part of a promotion to
capitalize on the World Cup buzz.

I’m not sure what’s funnier: that the Marlins think anyone would want to sit and listen to that awful buzz or that there will be 15,000 people at the ballpark on Saturday to get one.

Cubs sign Drew Smyly to a two-year, $10 million contract

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The Cubs announced on Tuesday evening that the club signed pitcher Drew Smyly to a two-year contract. Ken Rosenthal of The Athletic reports the contract is for $10 million total and allows Smyly to earn another $7 million with performance bonuses. Smyly was non-tendered by the Mariners at the beginning of the month and became a free agent.

Smyly, 28, underwent season-ending Tommy John surgery in late June. He’s expected to miss, at minimum, the first half of the 2018 season. The Cubs are hoping he can contribute to a playoff push in the latter half of the season as well as in 2019.

Smyly didn’t pitch at all in 2017. When he was healthy the season prior, he made 30 starts for the Rays and put up a 4.88 ERA and a 167/49 K/BB ratio in 175 1/3 innings.