PETA would prefer the Marlins use robot fish

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Last week we found out that the Florida Marlins are planning to put real fish in real salt water aquariums in the wall behind home plate at their new ballpark.

This week we find out the predictable reaction: PETA is protesting the proposal. The organization sent a letter to Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria denouncing the idea, according to the Miami Herald.

“Being exposed to the loud crowds, bright lights, and reverberations of a baseball stadium would be stressful and maddening for any large animals held captive in tanks that, to them, are like bathtubs,” wrote PETA executive vice president Tracy Reiman in the letter to Loria.

The Marlins, who unveiled the aquarium plans last week, said the see-through tanks would be constructed with the same material used in bullet-proof glass to ensure fish safety.

Marlins president David Samson told the Herald that he had not seen the letter, but said the fish would be “treated as well, or better, than any fish can be,” and didn’t sound willing to budge on the issue.

“I guess that’s a philosophical issue,” Samson said. “But there are beautiful aquariums all over the world and this will be one of them.”

But give PETA some credit, for Instead of simply protesting the use of fish at the ballpark, the organization actually offered up some palatable (to them) alternatives, including the use of “robotic fish that can ‘swim’ through water.”

Intrigued by the idea of robot fish, I did a little research (i.e. Google) and discovered that the Japanese have already invented a robot carp. Eureka!

Why a robot carp, you ask? I’m not sure, but I believe the Japanese will make a robot version of pretty much anything. They just like robots that much, and if they want to create this or this or this, who are we to discourage them?

Besides, they have done us a huge favor by solving this budding controversy over the Marlins’ ballpark aquarium. All the team has to do is shell out about $250,000 for each robot carp. No problem right?

 

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Diamondbacks sign Fernando Rodney to a one-year, $2.75 million deal

PITTSBURGH, PA - AUGUST 21:  Fernando Rodney #56 of the Miami Marlins pitches during the game against the Pittsburgh Pirates on August 21, 2016 at PNC Park in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  (Photo by Joe Sargent/Getty Images) *** Local Caption ***
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Confirming a report from Tuesday, the Diamondbacks officially signed right-hander Fernando Rodney to a one-year, $2.75 million contract on Friday. The 39-year-old stands to receive up to $4 million in incentives, per Jack MacGruder of FanRag Sports, with $250,000 kicking in when the veteran reaches 40, 50 and 60 appearances and $500,000 if he reaches 70.

Rodney came three games shy of the 70-appearance mark in 2016 during back-to-back stints with the Padres and Marlins. He put up a cumulative 3.44 ERA on the year, which effectively disguised the extreme split during his performances in San Diego and Miami. The Diamondbacks aren’t anywhere close to contending in 2017, but Rodney should stabilize the back end of their bullpen while providing Arizona GM Mike Hazen with a potential trade chip during next year’s deadline.

Hazen issued a statement following the signing:

With Fernando, we’re getting an established Major League closer and a veteran presence in the bullpen. It is helpful to have someone with his experience on the back end to slow the game down and get the final three outs.

Cardinals, Dexter Fowler agree to a five-year, $82 million deal

CLEVELAND, OH - NOVEMBER 02:  Dexter Fowler #24 of the Chicago Cubs reacts during the seventh inning against the Cleveland Indians in Game Seven of the 2016 World Series at Progressive Field on November 2, 2016 in Cleveland, Ohio.  (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
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The Cardinals have officially signed outfielder Dexter Fowler to a five-year, $82.5 million contract. Fowler will also get a full no-trade clause.

The Cardinals gave Fowler a bigger deal than many speculated he’d get, as some reports predicted he’d get something in the $52-72 million range. His skills, however — he’s a fantastic leadoff hitter who plays a premium defensive position — definitely earned him some major dough. Fowler hit .276/.393/.447 with 13 homers, 48 RBI and 13 steals over 125 games in 2016 for the World Series champion Cubs.

For the Cardinals, this will allow Matt Carpenter to move down to the middle of the batting order and will shift Randal Grichuk to left field. It also takes a prime piece from the Cardinals’ biggest rival. For their part, earlier this offseason the Cubs signed former Cardinal center fielder Jon Jay. So that’s fun.