I’ll bore you with one more story about my trip with the kids to the Columbus Clippers-Charlotte Knights game last night.
Shelley Duncan’s name is announced as he comes to bat for Columbus. Anna, my six year-old daughter, hears this and giggles a bit that a man is named Shelley. I tell her that Shelley can be a man’s name too. She nods, but I can tell that she’s not letting this one go. The subsequent conversation:
Anna: Why would his mommy and daddy name him Shelley?
Me: I told you, it’s a boy’s name too. [trying to change the subject]: Hey Anna, I actually met Shelley Duncan’s daddy once.
Anna [surprised and impressed, because she believes baseball players are impossibly famous and therefore unapproachable]: Really? Where?
Me: When I went on my trip to Florida last month. His daddy is a coach for another baseball team and I talked to him.
Anna: [still impressed] How did you talk to him?
Me: [thinking I’m impressing my daughter even more than I am] They let the baseball writers in the locker room after the game and we get to talk to the players and coaches. He was in the locker room after a game I went to.
Anna: What do they do in the locker room?
Me: [not paying close attention to where this is heading] It’s where the players take a shower and change out of their baseball uniforms after the game before they go home.
Anna: [thinking hard about this, and then breaking out into a mischievous smile]: Did you see Shelley Duncan’s daddy with no pants on?
Me: [sudden realization that, yes, I actually did see Dave Duncan with no pants on, and that I was actually talking to him as he was getting dressed. Think fast, Craig!]: Um, I don’t remember.
Anna: YOU SAW SHELLEY DUNCAN’S DADDY’S UNDERPANTS! YOU SAW SHELLEY DUNCAN’S DADDY’S UNDERPANTS! [followed by uncontrollable laughter].
The subject was finally changed with cotton candy. Multiple innings go by and I figured it was dropped for the night. I was wrong.
It was getting late, I had tired kids, so we left the game in the top of the eighth. As we’re leaving, we walked down a sidewalk that follows along the outfield wall with little places to look-in and watch the game for free. Anna stops as she sees Shelley Duncan in right field, just a couple dozen yards from where we were standing.
Anna: Hey Shelley Duncan! My daddy saw your daddy in his underpants! [followed by giggling the entire drive home].
I have no idea if Duncan heard this. I desperately hope that he did not.