Chicago beat reporter ready to bury White Sox

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Joe Cowley of the Chicago Sun-Times reports on the White Sox and is one of the more, let’s say, outspoken MLB beat writers. He typically injects far more humor and opinion into his articles than the average beat writer, and in some cases far more criticism.
With the White Sox off to an ugly 5-11 start, Cowley began today’s article like this:

Obituaries are supposed to be saved for the dead. In this case, call it working ahead. On the South Side, you can start picking out the coffin, the plot and the pallbearers.

The bulk of the piece isn’t that gloomy, as Cowley admits “the White Sox are far from flat-lined” and adds “writing off a team three weeks into the regular season is a moronic practice.” However, the heavy focus on how bad Chicago is and how great Minnesota is might get my dander up if I was a White Sox fan (thankfully I’m a Twins fan, and so Cowley’s article does nothing but amuse me).
And here’s how it concludes:

So how does this play out if the product remains subpar? By May, expect a coach to be sacrificed. By June, a few players. Why would Reinsdorf want to pay for a Pierzynski on a fifth-place team when he can have a cheaper Tyler Flowers? Why does he need a Paul Konerko when he can slide Mark Kotsay there? But all eyes will be on the relationship between Williams and manager Ozzie Guillen. Can they live with each other in a purge or will fingers be pointed as the marriage has soured?



Either way, this slow start has a certain amount of doom and gloom about it, and the ending won’t be a pretty one. Maybe the Sox start playing to their potential. Maybe they even win 90 games and have us all laughing about the early-season stumble. What a story that would be. Unfortunately, the Twins aren’t much into fairy tales. They are a reality, focused on winning. Focused on planning funerals.

I’ll bring flowers.

Dodgers acquire Matt Kemp in five-player trade with Braves

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The Dodgers have pulled off their first blockbuster trade of the offseason, sending Brandon McCarthy, Scott Kazmir, Charlie Culberson, Adrian Gonzalez and cash considerations to the Braves for Matt Kemp, per announcements from both teams. The Braves are set to designate Gonzalez for assignment on Monday, making him a free agent.

Kemp, 33, had a down year with the Braves in 2017, hitting a career-low -0.5 fWAR in 115 games with the club. At the plate, he slashed a modest .276/.318/.463 with 19 home runs and a .781 OPS through 467 plate appearances, but was hampered by a nagging left hamstring strain through most of the season. This will be his 10th campaign with the Dodgers.

Whether or not Kemp can rebound during his second stint in Los Angeles is almost beside the point, however. The deal is effectively a salary dump to end all salary dumps. Offloading multiple one-year contracts for McCarthy, Kazmir and Gonzalez should bring the Dodgers back under the $197 million luxury tax threshold and position them to make a run at some of the big fish in next year’s free agent pool. It’s also worth noting that they may not keep Kemp around for long — per Ken Gurnick of MLB.com, the club appears as likely to flip the veteran outfielder as they are to use him. As for the Braves, they not only rid themselves of the $43 million due Kemp through 2020, but added some rotation and infield depth with McCarthy and Culberson and can now give top prospect Ronald Acuna a legitimate tryout in left field.