Your team is toast

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Quite literally, courtesy of an entrepreneur named Josh Fink:

Starting in May, Pangea will roll out ProToast,
a line of toasters – available in every team from the four major sports
– that pops out with the teams logo burned into it. “Our motto is ‘Toast
Your Team,
‘” Fink says.

Fink has big plans for the toast market. He’s working on coming up
with FDA-approved magic markers so that kids can color their toast and a
collegiate logo toast product, called UToast, will hit stores in the
fall.

I’ve probably written between 5,000 and 10,000 posts since I started blogging in earnest a few years ago, so I forget a lot of things I’ve written. There’s something in the back of my mind telling me I’ve blogged about this toaster thing before, but  I searched and searched for this one in the various archives of the places I’ve blogged and I couldn’t find it. Maybe it was just a dream and my failure to turn this dream into a reality means I’ve missed my best chance at riches. Alas.

Anyway, I think that the real market for this thing will be for people to buy the logo toasters of their team’s rivals, make bunches and bunches of toast with it, and then use it for taunting purposes at games, not unlike people who bring in the brooms for sweeps or something.  “The Dodgers are toast,” Giants fans will be saying, quite literally. Jolly clever, that.

(thanks to Pete Toms for the link)

Miguel Cabrera is being sued for reduced child support payments

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Tigers first baseman/DH Miguel Cabrera is being sued by a woman from Orlando, Florida who claims that he “unilaterally” reduced the amount of his monthly child support payments, Tony Paul of The Detroit News reports. Cabrera, who has three children with his wife Rosangel, also had two children with Belkies Mariela Rodriguez in 2013 and 2015.

Cabrera pays more than $6,200 per month in child support and helped Rodriguez purchase a nearly $1 million house. Rodriguez’s attorney calls Cabrera’s monthly payments “inadequate” because her children don’t quite have the same standard of living as Cabrera’s three children with Rosangel. Cabrera’s legal team accused Rodriguez of “embarking on a mission to extort additional moneys to be used for her benefit under the guise of child support.”

Cabrera, 34, signed an eight-year, $248 million contract extension with the Tigers in March 2014, which officially began in 2016. He made $22 million in 2014-15, $28 million in 2016-17, and will earn $30 million from 2018-21 and $32 million in 2022-23.

Along with reduced child support payments, Rodriguez alleges Cabrera left her “high and dry” when it came to monthly expenses with the house he helped her purchase.

Cabrera has requested that the judge recuse herself from his case, as her husband has a title with Rodriguez’s lawyers’ law firm following a merger. He is scheduled to be questioned under oath during a videotaped deposition on Thursday in Orlando. Rodriguez is scheduled for her deposition on Friday.

Cabrera is not the only player to find himself embroiled in such a case. Bartolo Colon was also sued for back child support for a “secret family” last year.