Great moments in bathroom sex at U.S. Cellular Field

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Rhett and Scarlett.jpgReviewing the box score of Monday’s White Sox-Indians game reveals that only Paul Konerko and Alexis Rios were credited with home runs. According to John Kass of the Tribune they missed one in the men’s room off the third base line upper deck concourse:

“So I kicked the door, just to get a reaction. I just wanted to make
sure nobody was dying in there. That’s when I heard a woman’s voice
yell, ‘HEY, STOP!’ Something was going on and I had interrupted.” Moments
later, the stall door opened, and a tall, thin, blond man exited. The
tall man held his arms up in triumph.

“His arms were straight up,
like in victory,” Nemeth said. “Everybody was hooting and hollering and
giving high-fives.” Then a second person left the stall, someone
Nemeth described as apparently female, “scurrying” out of the restroom
with a shirt or coat over her head.

There are walks of shame, there are pathetic walks of shame and then there are walks of shame out of the men’s room at U.S. Cellular Field in the middle of a Sox-Tribe game. We’re talking about one refined gentleman and one classy lassie here. And I love the “apparently female” line.  Maybe the tall blond guy got more than he bargained for?

Anyway, the man quoted there was the fellow who discovered the highly romantic liaison in question. He was with his young son at the time. I’m a dad with a couple of impressionable kids, so I can relate to his discomfort about it all. Not that I can’t handle it, but because you just know when you have kids that 500 questions are going to follow about “what were that lady and that man doing and why was a lady in the boy’s baffroom and can Batman beat up Spider-Man” and all of that. The only real easy answer is that, no, Spider-Man wouldn’t stand a chance.

All that said, the Kass column in which all of this appears is a bit over-the-top in terms of “think of the children” hand-wringing. He prods the mayor to do something about this for cryin’ out loud. Like he has the time to police the U.S. Cellular Field bathrooms when there’s so much graft to attend to.

Tasteless and moronic behavior happens. We all wish it didn’t, but it does. We’ll all find a way to soldier on. Somehow.

Video: Andrew Toles hammers grand slam in Cactus League win

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Dodgers’ left fielder Andrew Toles crushed his first spring training home run on Saturday afternoon. With the bases loaded and a two-run deficit hanging over their heads in the fourth inning, Toles stepped up to the plate against Oakland right-hander Jesse Hahn and unloaded a grand slam on the second pitch he saw.

Third baseman Justin Turner was quick to follow up with a solo jack of his own, bringing the score to a comfortable 7-4 lead by the end of the fourth. Another three-run outburst in the fifth and an eighth-inning RBI single by Austin Barnes raised the final score to 11-6… which, coincidentally, was the same score the Reds used to defeat the Athletics’ second split-squad lineup on Saturday (albeit with a few more RBI walks than grand slams).

Toles, 24, is approaching his sophomore season with the Dodgers in 2017. He slashed .314/.365/.505 with three home runs and an .870 OPS in his first major league season in 2016 and is expected to platoon with the right-handed Franklin Gutierrez in left field this year.

David Price’s season debut could be pushed back to May

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David Price showed “strength improvements” in his elbow on Saturday, but Red Sox’ manager John Farrell still doesn’t think the left-hander will be ready to throw by the start of the season — or for a few weeks afterward. According to ESPN’s Scott Lauber, the 31-year-old might not be ready to debut until May at the earliest.

Price hasn’t thrown off of a mound this spring after experiencing soreness in his left elbow on March 1. Surgery doesn’t appear to be necessary, but the Red Sox are playing it extra safe with their No. 3 starter in hopes that rest and rehabilitation will return him to full health sometime during the 2017 season. For now, Price has been restricted to short games of catch until he’s cleared to resume a more rigorous throwing program. Via MLB.com’s Ian Browne:

[There were] strength improvements to the point of putting the ball back in his hand a little more consistently,” said manager John Farrell. “Today’s the first step for that. A short game of catch. That’s what he’s going through. Not off a mound but just to get the arm moving with a ball in flight, and he will continue in this phase for a period of time. There’s no set distance and volume yet to the throws.

The lefty is coming off of a lackluster 2016 season, during which he delivered a 3.99 ERA, 2.0 BB/9 and 8.9 SO/9 over 230 innings for the Red Sox.