Great moments in bathroom sex at U.S. Cellular Field

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Rhett and Scarlett.jpgReviewing the box score of Monday’s White Sox-Indians game reveals that only Paul Konerko and Alexis Rios were credited with home runs. According to John Kass of the Tribune they missed one in the men’s room off the third base line upper deck concourse:

“So I kicked the door, just to get a reaction. I just wanted to make
sure nobody was dying in there. That’s when I heard a woman’s voice
yell, ‘HEY, STOP!’ Something was going on and I had interrupted.” Moments
later, the stall door opened, and a tall, thin, blond man exited. The
tall man held his arms up in triumph.

“His arms were straight up,
like in victory,” Nemeth said. “Everybody was hooting and hollering and
giving high-fives.” Then a second person left the stall, someone
Nemeth described as apparently female, “scurrying” out of the restroom
with a shirt or coat over her head.

There are walks of shame, there are pathetic walks of shame and then there are walks of shame out of the men’s room at U.S. Cellular Field in the middle of a Sox-Tribe game. We’re talking about one refined gentleman and one classy lassie here. And I love the “apparently female” line.  Maybe the tall blond guy got more than he bargained for?

Anyway, the man quoted there was the fellow who discovered the highly romantic liaison in question. He was with his young son at the time. I’m a dad with a couple of impressionable kids, so I can relate to his discomfort about it all. Not that I can’t handle it, but because you just know when you have kids that 500 questions are going to follow about “what were that lady and that man doing and why was a lady in the boy’s baffroom and can Batman beat up Spider-Man” and all of that. The only real easy answer is that, no, Spider-Man wouldn’t stand a chance.

All that said, the Kass column in which all of this appears is a bit over-the-top in terms of “think of the children” hand-wringing. He prods the mayor to do something about this for cryin’ out loud. Like he has the time to police the U.S. Cellular Field bathrooms when there’s so much graft to attend to.

Tasteless and moronic behavior happens. We all wish it didn’t, but it does. We’ll all find a way to soldier on. Somehow.

The Twins and Diamondbacks make a minor trade

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The Arizona Diamondbacks have announced that they’ve acquired minor league catcher John Ryan Murphy from the Minnesota Twins in exchange for minor league pitcher Gabriel Moya.

Murphy has played in 141 major league games across four seasons, three with the Yankees, one with Minnesota. He has spent the entire 2017 season at Triple-A, hitting .222/.298/.330 with four home runs and 27 RBI over 59 games. Which is not significantly different than what he did in the bigs. He’s 26 and will serve as organizational depth for Arizona.

Moya is a 22 year-old lefty who has been the closer for the Dbacks’ Double-A team. He’s had a fantastic 2017 season, posting a 0.82 ERA and a 68/12 K/BB ratio in 43.2 innings.

The Rays acquire reliever Dan Jennings from the White Sox

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The White Sox have traded multiple relievers recently. They just traded another, sending lefty Dan Jennings to the Rays for first baseman Casey Gillaspie.

Jennings has a 3.45 ERA and a 38/19 K/BB ratio in 44.1 innings. He’ll likely serve as a setup man with Tampa Bay. He’s more than a rental, as he’s under team control for two more years.

Gillaspie, 24, is hitting .227/.296/.357 with nine home runs in 395 plate appearances at Triple-A. He hit much better in 2016 at Triple-A, however, and made it on some top-100 prospects lists. What the White Sox’ plans for him are with Jose Abreu around, however, are unclear.